Pushed Beyond Limits
by Vixen1
Summary: *RE-DISCOVER A CLASSIC!* After the Eve Wars, soldiers are returing home. Hiiro Yui returns as well, but he can't banish the war in his heart. When he becomes corrupt, can she pull him back to reality? * CH 6 REALLY IS FIXED!!*
1. The Unsung Hero's Price

Pushed Beyond Limits

~~~ I've hit an all time low with my writer's block, yet I've had this urge to write this fic for a while now. It's going to be different, more so than usual, so be prepared. It also may take me a while to turn out new chapters because of events pending in my 'normal' life, but hell, I promise I won't leave it hanging! Last thing! I feel I should mention: Moon/ Yui pairing, like always. ( Come on, you didn't think I'd change now, now did you?) ~~~

**WARNING 1**: RATED FOR A GOOD REASON: violence, ***adult issues***, &** *lime.*** 

**WARNING 2**: I DO NOT BELIEVE IN DISCLAIMERS. Have a problem? Good, I didn't think so. 

~~Well, let's on with it, shall we? ~~

Chapter One: The Unsung Hero's Price

*The busy streets were cold and dirty. The air was filled with a heavy layer of soot and snow, mingling and making breathing hard for the young and old. Those who dared smiled and waved at one another, those who did not walked briskly and coolly towards their destination. The shops of the dying city were in tatters, war stricken and beaten. Those that had been deemed free of structural problems were open, yet hardly anyone filled them. Children wandered aimlessly through the streets, calling for someone, anyone, who would help them find their missing parents. Dogs barked, snarling and growling at all who dared enter their alleyways. People filled the street, forming two lines- one for unemployment, and the other for food. 

This was the world he had come to when it was all over. This was the world he had decided he was worthy of. As the chilly air nipped his cheeks, he too took his place in the unemployment line. Was this what he had fought for? As a soldier he had learned that the people of both Earth and the colonies were being oppressed. But he had grown up in space. He had never seen poverty as Earth had it. To him it almost seemed unreal. The colony that had raised him had never had such problems, nor would they have tolerated them. Was this the result of the war? Perhaps it would have been better for it to have kept going.

The soldiers would not have come back home; only to find loved ones had been killed by the fighting. Soldiers would not come home, trained to do nothing but pilot, or to use a gun. Soldiers would not have come home to search for a job and some security, to come back to an empty alleyway at the end of the day, empty handed, and half starving. 

"Next in line." The man ahead grumbled. Hiiro Yui sighed. Fifth day in a row he had searched for a job. Originally he had taken a job analysis test, to see what sort of job he would be fit for. He had passed it with flying colors; he was fit for all jobs, even better than 'fit' in most cases. But when the woman who had been administering the test gave him a list of possible jobs and he read the list, he had burned it in front of her. She had given him a list of executive jobs- jobs for high-ranking officials and people who got better than the average pay. He didn't deserve those jobs. Those jobs should be reserved for the true soldiers. The ones who were worse off in life than he. At least he had his survival skills to fall back on. Those men who had nothing but the memories of bloody battles fought should be the ones given the chance to succeed. 

"Next in line." The man's gruff voice sounded annoyed. Hiiro woke from his memory and stepped forward. "You again kid? When are you going to learn? If you don't want the jobs we've suggested, go find your own job." 

"Have any new positions opened?" Hiiro asked, ignoring the man's rude comments.

"No. Not since yesterday. And when you were here yesterday, you gave that job to the man behind you. Stop being such a bleeding heart! Look, unemployment rates are up one hundred and ten percent since the end of the war. The soldiers are coming home and looking for jobs so they can settle in with their families. Now kid, if you don't take the jobs we offer you, others are going to get them. Stop feeling sorry for everyone you come across and think of yourself. How long do you think you'll last on the street without a job? Huh kid?"

"As long as I need to." Hiiro nodded coolly at the man, then turned and walked off, leather flight jacket slung over one shoulder, gun tucked carefully at his side in its holster.

"That kid. He'll be the death of me." The man at the unemployment table swore under his breath as he watched the solemn boy walk out into the heavy crowd. "Next in line. Come on buddy, time doesn't stop for the likes of you and me, let's go."

Hiiro just continued walking down the street. He had nowhere to go. His fellow pilots had each returned to someone. Duo to his girlfriend, Hilde, on the colony L2. Trowa to his girlfriend, Catherine, on L3. Quatre had gone back to L4 with his sister Iria to complete family business affairs, and Wufei Chang worked for the Preventers with his 'partner; Sally. Why didn't Hiiro join the Preventers? He didn't belong there. He had fought for so long. He didn't want to fight any more. He would be a danger to even to himself if he continued perfecting his already sufficiently deadly skills. He walked on.

The snow and ash were falling more heavily now. Ash from the coal yards only a few blocks down the road. For all that that they had advanced technologically, coal was still a huge product used for heating, power, and other such things. It seemed as if the black clouds above had stopped snowing the angelic white they usually showered the world in, and instead they were coating the dead world in black. Like nature's way of mourning the loss and destruction, the inevitable downfall, of her own prodigy species: humanity.

"Hey, there's a hot one." A high voice drawled sweetly in his ear. "Hey there. I'm looking for some fun tonight. Would you like to join me?" The woman winked and smiled devilishly. Hiiro paused, slightly shocked.

"No." He managed to answer.

"Of course I'll pay you. What are your fees per hour baby?" She frowned and made a second attempt. Hiiro stayed frozen. The woman thought he was a…a… she thought he sold himself for one night stands?

"I'm not interested in that sort of thing. Go home and get your sex from your husband." He choked out rudely. Immediately he regretted it. As disgusted as he was with the woman's suggestion, he felt a surge of pity when her eyes drooped and her head hung.

"He's gone and died in the war, fool that he was." Her head shot up. "Well then. You shouldn't be over here walking if you're not for sale."

"Excuse me?" Hiiro blinked. His ideals of emotions being non-existent momentarily failed him as he let surprise overtake him. 

"This is where all the prostitutes work, or didn't you know that?" She snapped. Obviously he had hurt her. She looked so lonely, so small and depressed.

"I didn't know. I'm sorry to have lead you on."

"Don't think of it. I was surprised there might be a man around here. There're always women prostitutes around for the soldiers, but no one ever thinks of us widows, or even the female soldiers. We got needs too, or didn't you know that?"

"I didn't know."

"You don't know a lot, do you boy?"

"I know enough." He said curtly. Why was he still speaking to this woman? That pity feeling again. He could empathize with her loneliness. But he could not cure it. 

"Not enough. All I wanted was one night to forget Jack. Just one. But that won't happen, will it?"

"In probability, no." 

"You look lonely too. Here now. Just one night with me, and I bet we won't be near so lonely till morning. And look, you even make money out of the deal. Sounds pretty good, don't it? Money and companionship, and all you have to do is have a little fun with me. Sure you won't take me up on that offer?" A split second decision on his part. 

"Fifty dollars an hour. Which direction do you live?" 

"Now that's the spirit. Come on baby, let's go quick. The sooner we start, the sooner we forget." Hiiro let the woman lead him through the black streets. She was right. It wasn't such a bad deal. He would have a place to sleep, his loneliness, the war, would be forgotten, and he would get paid for it. Besides. It was getting cold out, even for the most Perfect of Soldiers.*


	2. Street Conversion

Chapter Two: Street Conversion

*The blustery street had few pedestrians. No one cared to be out in one of the worst blizzards in the history of the city. No cared to be out. Yet there were a few who had no choice, as always. Those who could huddled inside the alcoves of the alleys, shivering on their own, alone in the dark. For the others who were not so lucky, the open street left many a life to chance. If they were not careful, they could easily become sick. Or struck by a car. Or simply freeze in the below zero temperature of the January snowstorm. This was the world he had chosen, this was the world he was satisfied with. 

Hiiro stood in the very eye of the storm, daring to defy nature's threats to strike him down for his arrogance and lack of reverence for her awesome power. Leaning against a lamppost, the wind seemed to cut directly in front of him, as if avoiding his own icy stare. He stood silently, plainly. He stood, waiting for his next customer. The next person who would decide they were tired of being lonely and fall to his ever present and dangerous charms.

But no one came. The night was too cold. The night was too dark. The night was too frightening for anyone to chance anything. So he stood. All night, just waiting for a presence that would not show. And his loneliness enveloped him. Self-hatred welled. And hot tears fell and froze to his ghostly white face. So it had been like this for three years. Slowly his mind collapsing in on itself, slowly his sanity slipping away night by night as he sold himself into the sinful hell of plaguing memories.

)(

"I'll do as I please!" She cried, storming out of her house. All be damned if she was to listen to that brat. Always trying to protect her, shelter her. God forbid she do anything worthwhile with her wasted existence. She slowly made her through the icy streets. Only the night before the ground had been packed with snow to her waist. But now the wind had died down. The snowplows had paved the road, and it all seemed so clear as to where she should go. To hell. However, that, as of yet, was not an option. So instead she did the next best thing.

The bells in the door chimed when she entered the bar. Sitting herself down at the counter she looked at the bartender and gave him a look of desperation.

"What'll you have sweetheart?" He asked, smiling at her.

"Whatever will make me drunk the fastest."

"My kind of lady." The bartender roared, pouring the woman a shot of whiskey.

"I am no lady." She stated gruffly before drowning the entire shot whole. "I'm a bitch who deserves to rot in hell. But we'll try to forget that for now."

"By getting drunk? Sorry lady, you aren't going to forget jack by getting drunk. You just won't feel it. But you still remember it. A whore'll make you forget though." The men at the bar counter laughed loudly at the bartender's suggestion.

"Will he now? And have you ever heard of a man prostitute?" She sneered, drowning yet another shot.

"There's one at the table behind you. He goes by the name of Cin."

"Really? He any good?" The men got a good laugh out of the woman's question.

"I wouldn't know sweetheart, I ain't like that!" The booming laughter annoyed her, but she ignored it and turned to face the man behind her. She stood and swayed. Then, sauntering over to the man as best as possible, she dropped into his lap.

"I hear you're for hire."

"Hundred an hour."

"Oh?"

"Plus you provide the place."

"Sounds delicious. Cin." The woman purred into his ear. Hiiro could smell the whisky on her breath. But hell, as long as she paid, he didn't give a damn. He needed the money.

"Let's go then." He stood, leaving the woman in his lap to slip to the floor. Bending over, he picked her up and placed her on her feet. 

"My name's Ilene. Ilene Tsukino."

"Cin. Where you want it?" He pushed. He didn't like waiting. He just wanted to get it over with. During the deed he had no rational thought. He could use a break from his haunting ideals and memories just about now.

"Follow me!" She laughed, then pulled on his shirt. He followed easily. She led him to a large house in a nice neighborhood. Odd. He didn't get many women who lived in houses. Most lived in apartments. He thought little of it however.

"Key?" He asked.

"Don't need it. Unlocked." She smiled again. Tugging on his neck, she smashed her lips against his in a bruising kiss. He responded instantly. Wrapping his arms around her, he trailed kisses down her cheek and neck. Sucking gently on her ear for a moment, he began to work his hands up under her jacket and shirt. Both man and woman released moans as they continued making out under the porch lights. Hiiro removed one hand from its work under the woman's shirt and open the front door. Forcing her inside and never breaking the kiss, he smashed her against a wall. Lost completely in his task, he had shut down his senses. 

"What the heck is going on right here!" An angry voice came from behind. Hiiro cut off all contact and spun around, ready to attack whomever had decided to interrupt him and his client. 

"Don't worry about it Serena! Just having a little fun, that's all. Go to bed." Ilene laughed in her drunk and giddy state. She pulled on Hiiro's jacket and pulled it off from his shoulders. His focus did not shift from the intruder. 

"She's drunk, isn't she?" The intruding woman sighed angrily and brought her hands up to rub her temples. "Again." She muttered to herself. 

"Cin." Ilene begged. Hiiro turned back to his client. Screw the other woman. Whoever she was, she could wait her turn. Hiiro resumed his kissing.

"Excuse me." The other woman's voice rose just slightly. Hiiro turned around in annoyance.

"What?" He spat.

"You can't continue this. Look, thank you for bringing her home. I'm sure it was a very noble thing for you to do…"

"Look. Ilene here is my client for the night. She hired me. So, I don't care if you're her mother or not. Get lost." Hiiro growled. Funny. This woman didn't turn tail and hide like the others when he used that tone of voice. If possible, she only became redder in the face.*


	3. Money Makes the World Go 'Round

Chapter Three: Money Makes the World Go 'Round

"Mother? Me her mother?" She snorted ungracefully. "Listen here. I don't care if she hired you, I'm firing you. So get lost."

"I came to get paid. I don't do my job, I don't get paid. So I stay and do my job, because I want the pay." Hiiro's voice rose to almost a shouting level.

"You keep your voice down, you hear me?" The woman whispered in rage.

"Serena?" A little voice called from the shadows. Hiiro watched as Serena glared at him, then turned to the shadows and sweetly replied to the voice.

"Yes Lizbeth?" She replied in a sweet voice.

"I heard screaming. Who's that strange man?" The voice answered. A little blonde girl stepped out of the shadows and into the light. Hiiro inwardly groaned. What kind of a house was this? Little kids? Still another sin to add to his conscience. Defiling a child.

"The strange man is a friend. And he was just going to leave."

"Serena! Don't be rude!" Ilene giggled. "Cin is going to stay with me all night! We're going to…"

"Do nothing." Hiiro growled. He picked up his coat.

"See Lizbeth? Nothing's going on. Go back to sleep, alright then?" Serena told the little girl.

"Is Mommy alright?"

"Sure she is. She's just tired. Like you. Now go to sleep."

"Night Serena! Night Mommy!" The little girl cried before running back into the shadows.

"Cin. Stay." Ilene purred, rubbing herself against Hiiro's back. He flinched momentarily. To think he had been about to bed a mother in a home with her own children. And her husband would most likely not be too happy when he caught them either. 

"No. I want a hundred dollars though. Compensation." He argued.

"Cin baby!" Ilene cried.

"Mother! You promised him a hundred dollars?" Serena accused.

" An hour. But she's only wasted an hour of my time. So a hundred." He smirked coolly.

"Fine. Stay here." Serena growled, but left for a moment.

"Cin baby, stay!" Ilene pleaded.

"Your husband…"

"Died in the war. Son of a bitch beat me anyway. Good riddance. You, you're different. Come on. Stay." She begged. He felt sorry for her. She was just another statistic. Most likely worse off than he. Still.

"No."

"But I…" She got cut off when she gave a loud belch, then her eyelids fluttered and she collapsed. Hiiro shrugged. Figured. She would have passed out before he had even gotten her to…

"Oh no!" His thoughts were cut off by Serena's voice. She rushed in and cradled her mother's head. Lifting the eyelids of her mother's still form, she noted the dilated eyes. She'd have to watch her all night to make sure she didn't get serious alcohol poisoning. And how was she going to get her up the stairs? But she had bigger problems.

"Look, Cin, or whoever you are. I don't know why my mother agreed to you and your fees, but I don't have the money to cover you. I've got thirty bucks on me. Will that be enough?"

"No. Full payment." He smirked, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms.

"Well I can't give you the full payment." Serena retorted. She stood from her mother's form and crossed her own arms, taking a stand against Hiiro. He eyed her up and down. 

"You could pay me another way." He said. All he wanted was an escape from his conscience right now. He didn't care if he got paid for it.

"And how's that?" She asked, a frown playing upon her lips. He pushed himself off the wall and stepped towards her, backing her against the wall he had had her mother against only moments before. He traced his index finger down her cheek and ran his thumb over her lips.

"You really can't think of another way to pay me?" He smirked. She stood frozen with disgust.

"You are a sick man. I will not perform 'favors' for you to pay for my drunk mother's mistakes."

"Why not?"

"Because!" She cried out in exasperation. He backed away. Serena licked her lips.

"Fine. You've got two days to get the cash. Meet me at the bar on Fifth and Crab St. on the second day at eight thirty. If you don't show, I'll track you down."

"You couldn't." Serena smirked. He pushed her up against the wall roughly and she yelped in fear and slight pain. He was strong.

"I couldn't, huh? I was a soldier for ten years little girl. I think I can track you down. Besides. Let's remember. I know where you live." He could see the white of her eyes and decided he had done enough threatening for the time being. "Are we clear, Serena was it?"

"Crystal." She managed to choke out.

"Good. Two days. Let's not forget now. Ms. Tsukino."

"No, let's not." She muttered under her breath as he backed off and she rubbed her aching left arm. She watched him turn around and nonchalantly stroll out her front door and off into the cold night air. She quickly scrambled to close the door and then back to the floor next to her mother. 

"Oh mother." She whispered. "What have you become?" She sighed deeply. Then gathering her strength, she pulled her mother to the couch in the room next door. Laying her on her side, she finally decided it was time for sleep. Covering her mother with a blanket, she shut off the lights and climbed the stairs in the empty dark to her room.

As she entered her room, she relaxed. It was the end of another trying day. Serena sat down at her vanity in front of her mirror and dropped her head briefly. Then she looked up at her reflection.

Silvery blonde hair was out of order and in a messy bun. What little makeup she wore was smeared and almost gone. Ocean blue eyes had heavy bags under them and were glazed over with exhaustion, and her waning form seemed brittle and paler than the day before. Her clothes were dirty and worn; and her shoes were missing. How could that man have even found her attractive enough to suggest what he had? She was a sickly looking shadow. One that wouldn't have had the stamina or endurance to perform any such action as he had so blatantly made clear he wanted from her. Not to mention the conscience. No matter how horrible she looked, how poor she got, she would keep her morals. And she had thought the same of her mother.

Yet here they were. Three years since the war in which her father had died. Now her mother was an alcoholic. She never used to drink at all. Now she was the one to take care of her brother and sister. Her mother was busy falling down drunk or sleeping, or crying. For all that he used to beat her, Serena could tell her mother missed her husband. Luckily, she vaguely remembered the man, making the loss easier on her and her siblings. Still. She had never thought her mother would drop to such a primitive level of being. All she could do was pray. Pray and wait for her next paycheck. Thank god it was coming tomorrow. 

There were bills to pay, mouths to feed, and a brand new debt that needed to be paid off right quickly. So much to do and so little time to do it. And Kara needed a new backpack for school. Her old one had frayed. Brian needed new jeans. And Lizbeth. Lizbeth needed a new blood counter for her problem with diabetes. All three of her little sisters and brother needed shoes that fit, and she herself needed a coat… preferably one that was warm and fit. So many needs. They were barely scraping by, but they were scraping by nonetheless. She had to stop. She couldn't stand to think of their situation any longer. 

Sleep was what was needed the most at the moment. The future would play out all in due time, but the present was slipping away quickly while she lost herself in thought. And the present was the only time she would get to rest until the same time tomorrow night. Without washing off her makeup, Serena stood and crawled into her bed, shutting out the decaying world behind her.

)(

"Cin." The voice called from the shadows of the alley.

"I'm here. You get it?" Hiiro responded calmly.

"Yeah, I got it. I ever not get it?"

"Hnn."

"Look, whatever man, it's your deal. Where's my cash?" A man stepped out into the dim streetlight and flashed a package in Hiiro's direction.

"I have all but a hundred buck's worth."

"Not good enough."

"I'll have the rest in two days."

"I don't give out my merchandise on credit accounts. All or nothing Cin."

"Fine. Come by the bar in two days. Eight thirty. I'll have your cash in full then. And bring it all."

"That such a safe idea?"

"I'm not worried about safety."

"I know. Christ, I know…" The man's voice let out a nervous laugh, as he remembered the last time he had been in a 'situation' with Cin. No wonder the man was scared of nothing. Fear was scared of him.

"Good then we're on."*


	4. Back Down or Else...

Chapter Four: Back Down or Else…

* Serena bustled about as quickly as she possibly could. Her mother was gone, once again. Off where, she had no idea. What she did know was that she needed someone to watch her brother and sisters so she could go to that bar and pay off that Cin fellow. She most certainly didn't want him tracking her down and bothering her anymore. But if she couldn't find a sitter, she couldn't go, and she was not, not ever, going to take them with her. What kind of a person would expose little kids to such an amoral lifestyle? Not her. So a babysitter was needed. She sighed. Who could she call?

)(

The door opened and in from the snow strode in a dark figure. The figure took a seat in the back of the bar at a small table and pushed his coat back. The snow had been frostier than usual, and Hiiro could use a drink to warm himself up while waiting for Serena. 

"What'll you have?" The bartender called to Hiiro from behind his counter. The bar was busy, and his waiters were all too busy to wait on the menacing looking youth.

" Jack Daniel's."

"Got it. Four bucks." Hiiro removed the wad of cash from his pocket and threw the few dollars into the table in front of him. He then sat back to wait in a tense readiness. The bar was growing more rowdy by the moment, and as men were getting drunker, they began to get more physical with each other. A few punches had been thrown so far, nothing major, but even so it was still getting rougher. The bells on the door jingled as it was opened, and Hiiro looked up expectantly. A group of men walked in. It wasn't her. She was late now. He really disliked late people. They threw off his whole schedule. 

"Alright, so here is your hundred bucks." A voice shook him from behind. How had she managed to get there?

"Thanks." He paused, then looked at her sharply. "Join me for a drink." 

"No thank you. Unlike my mother, I never touch the stuff." She shook her head in disgust, then blushed at her actions. She knew they were slightly childish, but she couldn't help it. It was true. And besides. Why would he, a literal whore, ask her for a drink? 

"Too bad." Hiiro frowned. She was pretty, this one. He wouldn't mind giving her a night with him for free if she would take it. But he knew she was one of those few women who actually still believed morals were important, so she would refuse if he offered it. Still, there was something else… He watched as she walked away, walked out of the bar, and out of his life.

"Cin." A raspy cut the thick air. A man walked forward and sat at the table across from Hiiro. The man was small, thin but built, and his face was covered in long scars, from a knife perhaps. He carried with him a giant garbage bag. 

"Jerry." Hiiro responded. He had had to come now, of all times. Jerry gave a side smile and looked around warily. He spotted Serena, the only woman in the entire bar, trying to make her way through the throng of men who were blocking the exit to the bar.

"Feel free to take a look at the merchandise Cin. I'll be right back to collect on the cash." Jerry excuse himself.

"Hnn." Hiiro didn't know what Jerry was doing, but he didn't appreciate being left alone in the middle of an important business transaction. Where the hell did Jerry think he was…oh. Hiiro could see Serena's problem and the fact that Jerry had gone to add to the problem. A dozen guys were all hitting on her, blocking her exit so she couldn't escape them. She was handling it well as of yet, but she couldn't possibly hold them off for much longer. Hiiro sighed. Should he help her? Or should he let her deal with it on her own? It wouldn't do for him to get attached to her- she was too morally upstanding to even consider it. Still, a lady was a lady. But was she a lady? His mind was going back and forth between to mental dilemma to help Serena or not, while Serena herself began to lose control of the situation. 

Serena was having a horrible time. The men in the bar wouldn't leave her alone. They obviously didn't get out much to be hitting on her. Was she _that_ beautiful that they should all fawn all over her like this? She certainly didn't think so. But how could she stop them? She couldn't get to the door to leave, and she didn't have the strength to hold one of them off if they decided they wanted to do more than just look.

"Hey babe. Come on, just one night." One man laughed.

"Come on sweetheart. We ain't so bad compared to some!"

"No thank you." Serena replied firmly. "Please move so that I can leave."

"What's your rush?"

"Move now." She was fed up with being nice. Then a hand touched her shoulder gently.

"Let me help you out Miss." A polite and raspy voice said. "Move for the lady!" The voice continued, until the men had cleared the door for Serena to leave.

"Thank you." She told the man who had helped her.

"Don't mention it. My name's Jerry."

"Well thank you very much, and good night Jerry." He caught her wrist in the falling snow.

"What's you're hurry? Stay and talk a while." He said innocently. Serena removed her wrist.

"No, I really most be going." She answered desperately.

"Why?"

"I need to get home. Now, if you please," 

"Come on." Jerry tried again. He advanced on her and grabbed for her wrist again. He caught it and flung her around, then lost his grip and let it slip away. "Stay babe. We can have some fun, you and me." Serena shuddered and backed up like a deer caught in the head lights of a car. What she forgot was that now she was backing up back into the bar she had just escaped from. Well, better to be inside than out at the moment. She stumbled backwards into the bar and looked for a place to hide as Jerry advanced again. But there was no place. Fear traveled through her spine and sent shivers through the rest of her body. What was she going to do?

"Jerry." A familiar voice rattled in her ears. " Let her be."

"Go away Cin. She's not interested in you and your sex for sale. She wants a real man." Jerry ignored Hiiro. Mistake. 

Hiiro had seen the entire scene outside as well. From his vantage point in the back of the bar he could see through the tinted windows and out onto the street. Because of his training he could read lips, and the words that had been passed between them were an obvious sign Serena wanted nothing more than for Jerry to leave her alone. Well, he himself was miffed with Jerry for leaving him in the middle of their business transaction, so he figured he might as well help Serena out. Besides. He didn't like the thought of Serena being forced into anything with anyone. She deserved better than that. At least, that was what his mind was prattling off. He didn't understand why though. It shouldn't bother him. But it did. How annoying.

"Jerry. Finish this business with me and leave her alone." He gave the man one last chance.

"Back off _whore_! This bitch is mine." Jerry had gone too far. 

"Is she? Serena, come here." Hiiro growled. Jerry gave a strangled snort. Wait- had Cin just called this girl by a name? If he had, that meant he knew her personally.

Serena was at a loss. She could either trust this prostitute and go to him, or she could take her chances with the jerk in front of her. She looked back and forth a few times before rushing over to Hiiro. Hiiro stood and wrapped his arm around her. Immediately she felt safer. It was strange to think that she would feel safe with a man who only a few days before had invaded her home and hit on her mother in front of her. But she did, and it was much better than taking her chances with that Jerry man.

Hiiro stood when he saw that Serena had chosen to come to him. Not knowing what possessed him to do so, he placed his arm around her and pulled her in close. He could feel her press herself into his chest closer, trying to hide from the world. He inhaled the light fragrance of soap and felt slightly dizzy. Her cool skin burned against his own warm skin, and her brought his other warm around her to help warm her faster. It was funny, to think she would trust him. He certainly didn't deserve any trust from anyone. But if she was going to put her trust in him, then he was going to do everything possible to earn it. 

"Now. Let's finish our business. And then we end our partnership." Hiiro told Jerry in his quiet, deep voice. Serena shivered when she heard the lack of emotion in his voice. How could he be so removed about everything?

"Fine." Jerry sighed, relieved Hiiro wasn't going to pull his gun and kill him for messing with that girl. "You happy with the merchandise?"

"Yeah. Here's your cash. Now leave." Hiiro tossed a wad of cash at Jerry, then glared at him, waiting for him to leave. Jerry collected his coat and began his walk out of the bar.

"She wasn't so great anyway. I bet a could find a better looking whore on any street corner." Jerry muttered to himself, making excuses for losing the girl he had been so determined to have only a few minutes earlier. But the thought of tangling with Hiiro in a fight was enough motivation to change any one's mind. 

Hiiro tensed when he heard Jerry's muttered comments. That bastard should at least have enough manners to speak well of a moral girl like Serena. It bothered him. In fact, Hiiro was going to set him straight; teach him a lesson he would never forget. He began to move, but a tug on his sleeve made him freeze mid movement.

"Just leave him, alright?" Serena pleaded. As much as she didn't like Jerry, she didn't want anyone hurt on her account. It really wasn't worth it. 

"Why?"

"Just, because. It isn't worth it, you know?" She answered, flustered he would even listen to her plead. 

"No, I don't know. He insulted you. He should pay the consequences."

"But I'm not worth a fight. So just let the consequences slide this one time. Please? And besides. You insulted me last night, but I don't see anyone beating you up for it. Just let him go." Hiiro stared at her. She stared back, even fire in both their eyes. He finally tore his gaze from her smoldering sapphire eyes and looked away.

"Fine."

"Thank you. For helping me with him and all. I really have to get going though. I need to get home." She said, looking up at him. She had never noticed how handsome he really was. A dark chocolate mop was spread over his head and fell into his eyes dangerously. Eyes as dark as the night sky, yet blue still prevailed in them. He was well built, she could feel it as her body was pressed against his, and his choice in clothing didn't help much either. Why was she suddenly thinking this? It was wrong to think of any person in such a manner, let alone some man whom she had just met, and was a prostitute on top of it all. She had to get away. 

"Good bye." He replied quickly. 

"Well, good bye then." She answered just as harshly, taken aback by his sharp response. She pulled away from his warm arms and began walking towards the door, not looking back once. She didn't have the courage to do so. If she had, she might have been compelled to stay longer, to get to know this, Cin. But she couldn't risk that. She stalked out of the bar and into the cold weather. 

Snow had begun falling and the tiny flakes danced in a flurry of swirls, spiraling down towards their final fate as brown mush on the sidewalk. She thought it was ironic, that such beautiful creations as snowflakes could be admired so much, then shoved aside and forgotten as slush on the walkway. A shuffling noise behind her startled her out of her dreams. Suddenly a large leather jacket was draped around her shoulders and a silent figure was walking beside her.

"Cin?" She asked in slight wonder. What in the universe was he doing?

"Hiiro. Hiiro Yui. Cin is my on the job name. I'm off tonight." He answered loftily. Personally, he couldn't believe he was doing this, but something inside him had willed him outside after her, and then it had furthermore compelled him to walk her home. He didn't know what to make of her.

Serena stopped. His real name? Why would he tell her something so personal such as that? He wasn't what she had expected him to be, no, not at all. "Nice to meet you Hiiro Yui. My name is Serena Tsukino." She side smiled very slightly and held out her hand.

He accepted it briefly, then put an arm around her shoulders and led her on. "It's getting cold. We should get you home to your family." He stayed with his same monotone voice pattern, but she could detect a hint of humor behind his dull words.

"Yes, I suppose we should." She smirked and continued walking, allowing his arm to wind around her more tightly. Why, she did not know. But she was drawn to him; she couldn't help it. *


	5. You Don't Date!

Chapter Five: You Don't Date!

*She had just walked in the door, and already she could hear screaming and the heavy footsteps of running. 

"Serena! Serena!" The screams were crying. She prepared herself, knowing full well there was no real way to prepare for what was about to happen. Three small bodies launched themselves at her full force, screaming all the while. She laughed and returned their hugs and kisses. 

"How are my angels?" She asked laughing and gasping for breath.

"Serena! We're fine!" The oldest of the three, Kara, said. 

"Good. And how were your sitters? You didn't _kill_ them, did you?" he smiled wirily asking that question. Chances were they most likely had.

"They aren't dead yet. We were just about to finish the job!" The middle child, Brian teased. 

"Who's dead?" Asked the youngest, Lizbeth. Serena laughed.

"No one's dead, Lizbeth. I was joking." She looked at her brother and sister. She truly felt like they were a family. A family that would pull through this hard time without a mother or father to help guide them. In fact, she almost felt like their mother more than their older sister. The oldest, Kara, was ten. She was followed closely by Brian, who was nine, and then Lizbeth, who was only just about to turn seven. She felt old compared to them. She was just about to turn seventeen. Why her parents had decided to wait after her, she didn't know. But she was glad they had. Otherwise she would only be eleven, not nearly old enough to help take care of them all. 

"Oh. I get it! A joke! A joke!" Lizbeth began dancing around chanting her mantra. Yup, this was a normal day, just like any other.

"So tell me, where _are_ your sitters?" She asked.

"We tied them up!" Brian smiled widely. 

"You what?" Serena laughed. 

"We were playing cowboys and Indians, and we were the cowboys, so we tied up the Injuns!" He explained happily.

"Well then, where did you tie them up, I have to let them out and pay them for all the trouble you've been." Serena didn't smile, but laughter was apparent in her eyes.

"They're in here! Come on!" Kara yelled, pulling Serena into their family room. It was relatively neat compared to other time she had left them with a sitter. She looked around the room, but saw no one.

"Where are they Brian?" She asked, slightly worried.

"I don't know. They were here five seconds ago. I swear it! They were- ahh!" He was cut off mid scream when something from behind him tackled him.

"Me Indian. You cowboy. You bad cowboy. Must pay for tying up Indian!" A deep voice rumbled. 

"No! No! No! Serena, help me!" Serena just laughed.

"I don't know Brian. You did tie them up…"

"Please? I'll say I'm sorry!" He cried again.

"Well…" 

"Help!" Kara cried from behind her. Another 'Indian' had snuck up on her and grabbed her from behind. Yet another scream and soon Lizbeth too was being carried off by an Indian. Serena followed the troops as they sat the cowboys down in the same chairs they had been tied in before and tied them up instead. Serena laughed as she watched her brother and sisters struggling with the ropes and knots they were confined with. 

"Well, that's done."

"Mission accomplished."

"Justice has been served." 

"Guys, maybe we should untie them… maybe we were too harsh with them?" Serena laughed.

"I wouldn't worry about them too much Quatre. They'll be just fine." 

"They should have known we'd get them eventually. We warned them!" Duo laughed happily. Serena laughed too, and looked at the four men who had babysat for her. Such sweet men. She had met them almost a year ago when they came searching for their friend from the war. Since then, they had made their home in the city, and were always around when she was in a tight spot. Each of them had their own redeeming qualities, and she couldn't believe they had ever been in the Eve Wars. 

Duo Maxwell was the loudmouth of their group. Funny, intelligent, and outgoing. His violet eyes and long braided hair had won Lizbeth's heart. The minute Lizbeth had seen Duo, she had run up to him and asked if she could play with his hair. He had laughed and obliged the little girl's whim, and soon the two were fast friends. 

Quatre Winner was just as intelligent as Duo, and even more so it seemed. He was more laid back and relaxed than the other two, yet she could see he carried a heavy burden on his shoulders. He had been able to talk Kara and Brian out of any argument they were having, and was fair and kind about his deliberation. His blonde hair and sky blue eyes were only part of his natural charm.

Trowa Barton was the quietest of the four boys. His reddish brown hair and bottle green eyes had a way of forcing the truth out of anyone. Though he was silent for the most part, he was lose enough to play board games with her sisters. He could even stand to sit through five games straight of Pretty Pretty Princess. Anyone who could do that was nothing short of a miracle worker in her book.

The last in their group was Wufei Chang. Wufei was a hardened boy, she could easily see that. He was stubborn, arrogant, and sexist. But that was all superficial. Serena knew he could be kind and caring, especially when it came to her little sisters. Wufei had let the girls dress him up as a lady and then played 'tea time' with them more than once. He was a softy under his hard shell. 

It was hard for Serena to believe any of them, even Trowa and Wufei, had been in the wars three years ago. All they had told her was that they had only been sixteen, had been trained well, and had come out alive. She knew that wasn't all, that there had to be more, but she wasn't going to pressure them into telling her. She also knew they were searching for a comrade from the war. Why? Because they were worried about him. Apparently he had cut himself off from any contact from them and anyone else who had ever known him. He had just 'disappeared', but they didn't believe it. The only clue they had was from an old job application he had taken in this city three years ago, right after the war had ended and there was a rush on the job market. That was why they had originally come to the city, and why they were still here. They believed their friend was still here, just in hiding. Funny thing was, they had never told her his name. Too bad. Otherwise she could be helping them look for him. Oh well, c'est la vie.

"Now then guys. How much do I owe you?"

"That's three dollars an hour per hour. You were gone for two hours, so that means you owe us six bucks even." Duo cried happily.

"Come on guys! That's only a dollar for each of you for wasting two hours of your time! How much do I really owe you?" Serena cried in exasperation. They _always_ did this.

"Serena. You don't owe us anything. We like coming over here. We'd do it for free if you weren't so proud that you wouldn't accept it." Trowa told her smirking.

"I know, I know. Here're your six dollars. Now don't waste it on something unimportant, save it." She reprimanded them. 

"We won't mother." Duo mocked her.

"And Duo, if you call me mother one more time, I'll sick Wufei on you." Duo yelped and Wufei smiled evilly.

"Anything to get even with that braided fool." He laughed.

"Hey guys, I have another favor to ask of you." Serena said, suddenly dropping down shyly. 

"Anything for you Sere. Name it." Quatre smiled.

"Well, I was wondering if you would be able to baby-sit tomorrow night as well."

"Depends." Trowa said. "What times and why?" The four guys watched Serena blush. She actually blushed. She _never_ blushed. Ever.

"From seven thirty to, say, ten thirty?"

"Why? Sere…" Duo glared. She was hiding something.

"Well, just because. Do I have to tell you everything?" She snapped, her blush becoming darker.

"Yes." Wufei told her blankly.

"Well, can you or can't you?" She asked them, holding her head up proudly.

" Depends on why." 

"Not you too Trowa!" She blushed even darker.

"God Sere, I didn't know people's faces could turn that red! You look like one of those cartoon characters that just swallowed hot sauce or something!" Duo laughed. The other guys smirked. Serena simply turned around and hid her face in her hands.

"Never mind about tomorrow night. I just won't go."

"Go where?" Quatre asked.

"Out! Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! What, am I forbidden to date!" She turned around to yell at them. Then she realized what she had just said. 

"You? On a date? You don't date!" Duo cried out accusingly.

"I don't huh? Well then, I suppose I won't go out tomorrow night." She countered.

"Sere, we're serious. You've never been on a date before. Who is this guy? Where does he live? He could be dangerous." Quatre told her concerned.

"Look guys. I understand what you're saying, and he very well could be dangerous. But I'm tired of sitting back and waiting. All I do is work. I quit school to get a job when I was thirteen. I work all day every day except for Sunday. And when I get home, I work to clean this place up, I work to take care of my brother and sister, God, Duo's right. I _am_ a mother! But I'm tried of just being a mother. I just want to get out and have some fun before my face is so wrinkled no one wants to look at it! I need a break! And even this date is a bad idea, which I am certain it is, I still want to go on it."

"Sere." Trowa began. "I will be here tomorrow night at seven thirty." Serena's smile elated him and he felt like he had done the right thing.

"So will I." Duo replied with a sigh. But Serena's smile had made him realize she was right. She needed to get out once in a while. Talk about having no life? At least a soldier got to experience things. Serena was just stuck inside all day. It was the right thing to let her get a breath of fresh air.

"I'll come too." Quatre added. He silently agreed with Duo that Serena was too young to have the responsibility that had been placed on her shoulders. She needed to get out and experience life.

"I'm going to follow you and you're 'date'." Wufei said. No point in letting her get hurt while she had fun.

"What?" Serena's smile fell as she stared at Wufei with glaring eyes. "You're not serious."

"I am. No point in letting you get hurt if this guy turns out to be a creep."

"No. No. You can't follow me! That's invasion of privacy. Plus it would make me uneasy the whole time, just knowing you were following me. I absolutely refuse to let you follow me!"

"The you don't go."

"You can't keep me from going!"

"We won't show to watch the kids. Then you can't go."

"Uh, Wufei. You might not show to watch the kids, but we will. We've given our word to Sere, and we're going to stick by it." Duo said bravely. 

"Wufei, just let her go. Sere can handle things. We taught her how to get out of situations, remember? It's not like she won't be able to defend herself if need be." Trowa added. Wufei grumbled. 

"Thank you Wufei! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She squealed, then hugged him tightly. Wufei had no choice but to return the hug. He still wasn't convinced. But what could he do? The others were going to personally see to it that he didn't follow her, that much was certain from the warning looks they had been shooting his way. 

Serena pulled away and hugged each of the other separately, thanking them immensely. She was going on her date! Wait. Did that mean she had decided to take Cin up on his offer to take her out? Well, she supposed it did. Why was she going out with that guy again? She knew he was bad news. Bad for her morals, bad for her lifestyle, bad for her in general. But she still wanted to go. Was it because she was drawn to the dangerousness of the situation? Was she doing it simply for the high of seeing if she could? Or was there more reason than she could honestly understand? Was she desperate? Well, no, of course she was desperate. But was she, oh nevermind. What was done was done. Now she had to go out with him, regardless. Maybe it would be good for her to get out anyway.

"Hey Sere! Just tell us two things. What's this guy's name, and where are you going?"

"Well, I'm not going to tell you his name, because you'll have his background checked and tell me things I don't really want to hear. And as to where we're going, well, I don't know. I'm meeting him at a bar and we're going from there." It was strange, she thought, that she didn't tell them his name. She supposed it was just that she was embarrassed to have her friends think she was going out with a prostitute, but she felt bad that it should matter to her what his position in life was. Still, it did embarrass her, so she was going to keep it a secret from now on.

"Sere…" She got a light warning from Trowa.

"I wouldn't worry too much. He helped me out tonight and even walked me home when he saw I didn't have a jacket to keep me warm. He's not bad. Maybe dangerous, but he wouldn't let anything happen to me."

"He walked you home? Why didn't you invite him in?"

"Because if I did, you would have gone ballistic!" She laughed. The others laughed too. 

"Well, it' getting late. We'll be here tomorrow night at seven thirty. Bye Sere!" Quatre called as they left. She was still laughing when she heard:

"Serena! Come untie us! Please?" From Brian. She laughed harder, then went to untie her brother and sisters. Just then a thought crossed her mind. What did one wear to go on a date with a prostitute?*


	6. Rendezvous Sub-Rosa

Chapter Six: Rendezvous Sub Rosa

*Serena sat at her vanity staring at her reflection in the mirror. She had been sitting the same way for the last twenty minutes. Any minute now the guys would be coming over, and she was not ready to leave. Mentally she was prepared for the date. She could handle it. But physically… she still hadn't decided what to wear. And it was driving her up the wall.

"Serena?" Duo's voice rang out clear through the hall.

"In here Duo!" She called. He opened the door and she looked at him via the mirror.

"Sere! You're supposed to leave now! Why aren't you dressed? Don't you want to go?"

"Yeah, I do. Duo, I don't know. All this time I've been telling myself it's because I don't know what to wear. But that's not it. This guy, Duo, he's… different. I don't know. He's not like one of you guys."

"How is he different?" Duo asked, trying to be understanding.

"He's… well, I can tell he's had a rough life. And he doesn't have very good, healthy, moral habits either. But he's… I don't know! And that's my problem."

"What kind of bad habits does this guy have? If he's a drunk or some freak drug dealer…"

"No, he's not one of them. But, Duo, in some ways, what he does is worse. And it really bothered me at first. But last night he helped me get out of a rough situation. And then he went out of his way to help me get home. He seems like a nice person, under his bad lifestyle."

"Do you want one of us to tag you guys? Look, Sere, I know you don't like the thought of one of us trailing you, but it would be safer. And if he tried anything…

"But Duo, that's just it. He has had plenty of chances to 'try' something, but he hasn't."

"Then maybe that's why you want to go on this date with him." Duo pointed out thoughtfully.

"Huh?" She asked, confused.

"Well, yeah, sure. I mean, you see that he lives a bad life. But you also see the good potential he has in him. Maybe you just want to see more of that god potential."

"But of all I want is the good potential, isn't that a little shallow? I mean, it almost sounds like you're saying I see that he can change, so I'm going out on this date with him to see of I can change him. He's not just a dog you can teach new tricks. He's been around enough times to know the drill."

"Sere, maybe you're reading into this all wrong. Maybe you shouldn't be worried so much as to why you agreed to go out with him, but why he asked you to go out with him in the first place. Think about it from his perspective. Maybe the different view will help. So, do you want one of us to follow you or not?"

"You know Duo, people don't give you enough credit. You're smarter than you seem. Most of the time. And no, I don't want anyone to follow us. It's just rude, that's what." Duo laughed, and she smiled. 

"Fine then, have it your way Sere. Now you'd better get dressed."

"Oh no! I still haven't figured out what to wear!"

)(

Hiiro sat at the bar. Had it been an error in his judgment to ask this girl out? She was almost fifteen minutes late. She probably wasn't coming. Figured. He had been a fool to even think that someone might want to date him. Besides. He really didn't have the time to be wasting it on dates. He could be out on the streets right now, making money. But here he was, wasting time and being selfish. Hiiro dropped his head and lay it on his arms, which were folding on the bar counter. 

"Tired? I thought you were the type who 'lived for the night life', or so the expression goes." A sweet voice taunted him from behind. His head shot up and his blood shot eyes were wide. She had come? Late…

"You're late."

"Yeah. I had a few… issues… getting here." She laughed, thinking of Wufei telling her she couldn't leave in what she had chosen to wear.

"Issues?" He narrowed his eyes.

"My friends are babysitting. Very sweet guys. And very overprotective. One of them told me I couldn't leave the house as I was dressed. After a long winded argument I simply told him to stuff it and walked out the door. I think he might have gone into cardiac arrest when I said it though." Hiiro took in her story and truth to tell, he found it slightly amusing. 

"Well, let's see the outfit he wouldn't let you out in."

"No… it's not that important."

"Let's see it." She blushed, but obliged him by taking off her thin coat to reveal tight black pants and tight lacy red shirt with a black tank top beneath it. His breath momentarily caught, then he closed his mouth and went back into his stoic mode.

"You look very nice."

"Thank you." She said, blushing a faint red. " So had you given up hope on me? Was that why you were moping?" She smiled widely. Hiiro shook his head.

"I do not mope." 

"I'll bet. You had your head bent and hidden in your arms at a bar counter. You were moping. Come now. I'm not such a big loss."

"I was not moping. I did, however, think you were not going to come. You should work on getting to places on time."

"I know. I'm horrible at that. Oh well. So, what are we doing tonight? Sitting at the bar and discussing you're moping?" Hiiro had to smirk. She was a character. Though he would openly admit to it, he knew she was right to say he had been moping. It was a selfish act, to think of how pitiful your own life is. And, actually, when Serena was around, it was quite so dim. She seemed to be able to bring a certain 'zest' into the ambiance of a room. 

"We are not staying here, that's for sure." He motioned for her to follow him as he stood and walked out of the bar. 

"Where are we going then?"

"Don't know."

"You're something, you know that? I actually debated on whether to come tonight or not."

"Why did you come?" He asked, narrowing his eyes.

"My friend."

"The same one that told you you couldn't go out in your outfit?"

"No, a different one. I was telling him I wasn't sure I should come or not. He said, more or less, why not? I have nothing to lose. Though he was just as concerned about me going out as my other friends. He offered to follow us to make sure you didn't try anything foolish."

"Oh?" Hiiro smirked. He would like to see someone try to track him. Not even the other pilots could do it, if he didn't want them to.

"Yeah. I told him not to even think about it. It's just plain rude, don't you think?" Serena shuddered but laughed.

"Yes. But even if they had tried, they would have gotten very far. I'm hard to track."

"Oh? How so?" Serena asked intrigued.

"Let's just leave it at that."

"Very well. Cin…"

"Hiiro."

"Hiiro. It's getting rather cold. Are we going somewhere?"

"There's a small cafe around the corner. Up to coffee?"

"Don't drink it. Hot chocolate sounds good though." They walked the rest of the way in silence, neither knowing how to break the ice.

After they had ordered and made themselves comfortable at a booth, Hiiro looked at Serena. She looked content. Was that enough?

"Why don't you like coffee?" He asked her.

"Well, I'm short." She answered laughing. When she saw Hiiro's confused expression, she laughed harder. "What I mean is, coffee stunts your growth. I'm so short as it is, I can use all the help I can get. Including no coffee. Besides. Haven't you ever really tasted coffee?" She asked, eyes full of wonder.

"Of course. I drink it daily." He answered.

"So does almost everyone. But most people only drink it as part of a fad, or better yet, because it keeps them awake. Are you one of those people, or do you actually like the coffee for its flavor?" Serena explained. Hiiro listened to her philosophical view and thought over his own position. 

"I am one of those people. I never thought about it." He finally answered.

"Well, at least you admit to it. Most don't. This time when you drink you coffee, think about the taste. Do you really like it?"

"Do you?"

"No. I don't like it because it's too bitter. I like sweet things myself." She giggled.

"As do I. In fact, I like chocolate."

"I never thought you would volunteer _that_ information!" She cried laughing.

"Well, I am. I love chocolate as a matter of fact. I don't eat a lot of it though." He added, smirking at her shaking form. She was a very true person. She acted upon her emotions, just the way he had always wished his conscience would allow him to. 

"Neither do I. I don't keep it in the house because Brian can't eat it. He's a diabetic. No sugar. And if I keep it around, the girls will find it and eat it, then taunt him because he can't eat it, then he'll try some, and that will lead to an entire night spent in the emergency room in the hospital."

"Is his condition that serious?" 

"Well, not really. I mean, it's a terrible thing to live with. But it could be worse. He only has a mild case, type 1. He doesn't need insulin shots, he only needs to watch what he eats very carefully."

"That's good." Their drinks arrived.

"Well? Try it." Serena watched with interest. Hiiro took a sip of his black coffee and swallowed slowly. But Serena couldn't read his face. No expression what so ever.

"Excuse me." Hiiro said suddenly. He stood and walked over to the counter. After a few minutes of waiting, he returned with a different cup. "You know you're right. Coffee is incredibly bitter."

"Stains your teeth too." Serena added.

"Well. I need nice teeth for my line of work." Hiiro thought aloud. Serena paused, then gathered her courage.

"Hiiro. Can I ask you something?"

"Hnn." He grunted. She took it as a yes and continued.

" How did you ever get to, to,"

"Being a whore? You can come right out and say it you know. It's a long story." He answered indifferently.

"I've got until ten." She answered, settling in.

"I fought in the Eve Wars when I was sixteen. After that, I came back here. I could have gotten a nice job in some office building. But I didn't think it would be right. So many others were in the war too. And most of them had families to provide for, not just themselves like me. I couldn't bring myself to rob them from their only way to make a living and supporting their families. So I rejected the jobs. 

One might I was walking around and a woman came up to me. Offered me money for a one night stand. Her husband had died in the was and she figured a one night stand would make the night less lonely. I figured my nightmares of the war would stop plaguing me if I was… busy… during the night helping others forget their nightmares. So I agreed. I've been a prostitute ever since then." He explained it simply, as if it were no big deal. But it was. It was his life story. Guilt that plagued him… he would always have that, it would never leave him. He had killed so many, done so many horrible deeds.

During his whole story, Serena sat still. She tried to listen with an open mind, and when she did, she found more pain and loneliness in his voice than she had ever heard a person speak with. He must truly feel like the war was his fault, or that he, in some way, was responsible for as many deaths as there were. But she said nothing. Figuring it was better to let him contemplate on his own feelings, she let it slide and simply accepted him for who, what, he was. 

"It's almost ten. I'll walk you home." Hiiro said, standing. 

"Alright then." Hiiro offered her his hand and helped her stand. Then, leading her out the door of the café, they began the walk back.

"You know something I just thought of?" Serena asked Hiiro as they walked.

"What's that?"

"I have a few friends who were sixteen and they were in the Eve Wars. It seems like such a young age. If the Eve Wars were three years ago, that makes you nineteen. You're all so young, but I'm only just turning seventeen. I feel almost guilty. You've all experienced so much more than me… what with the war and all."

"No, don't feel guilty. You're too young to be raising your three little siblings, but you are. Speaking of which. I'm sorry I behaved so poorly that night I brought your mother home." 

"Don't worry about it. You know, it seems really strange to think that you were hitting on my mom, yet here you are dating me."

"Tell me about it. Your mother was too old. Not that I mean…"

"I know what you meant." Serena laughed. "Tell me. Why the name Cin?"

"Cin. To sin. I suppose I am a sinner for my lifestyle."

"You do it for a reason. I'm sure whatever higher power up there knows that."

"It's still an immoral life. Doesn't that bother you?" He asked her innocently.

"At first. But as I get to know you more, the less you seem like a sinner. I don't see you as Cin anymore. I see you as Hiiro Yui, my friend, and the man who took me out on a date tonight."

"Is that a good thing?" They had reached her porch and had stopped walking.

"You know, I suppose it is. Thank you for tonight. Good bye Hiiro." She turned around to go in.

"Wait." His voice paused her. "Can I… will you… are you busy next Saturday?" He asked flustered. He had never been good with women and words.

"Not yet…" She smirked. He gathered courage from her smirk and continued on.

"Would you like to come with me some where?"

"Depends." She teased.

"On?" He asked, frowning.

"Oh, stop looking so dejected! I'm not saying no because it's you. I'm saying maybe because I don't know, number one, if I can get a babysitter, and number two, because I don't know where we would be going."

" Out." He mentioned cryptically. She wanted to toy with him? Two could play at that game.

"Out huh? Out where?" She asked. She knew what she was falling into. And as far as she was concerned, she didn't mind jumping in head first.

"Depends. Will you come?" He pressed.

"Alright then." She nodded with a sparkle in her eye. His breath caught once again. He loved to watch her when her face was so illuminated with excitement and mischief. 

"Good. And wear something nice, but that you won't mind getting dirty." He added.

"Fine."

"Good."

"Good."

"Fine."

"Good night Hiiro." She said once more, stepping away from him again. She turned around to go in, then hesitated. Changing her mind, she turned back around to Hiiro. Walking up to him, she quickly pecked the corner of his mouth before pulling away and going in. 

Hiiro stood stunned by her actions for a moment. Then he shook his mind off of his cin-full thoughts and began walking back to his work zone. There was no way he would be able to sleep tonight. He was so tense from his date, yet so… he was just content. And that was enough.

As Serena walked into the quiet and dark house, she hung up her coat and walked into the family room where her five friends had been very poorly spying on her and her 'date' through the window. She expected to get quite a mouthful form them. But she got nothing. Instead, she got stunned expressions. Then, two very low words escaped from Trowa's lips.

"Hiiro Yui."*


	7. The Lost and Found

Chapter Seven: The Lost Found

*"I'm sorry?" Serena asked confused by her friend's behaviors. They were acting more unusual than normal. And how had Trowa known Hiiro's name.

"Serena. You were on a date with Hiiro?" Quatre asked her. 

"Yeah." She replied slowly.

"Serena. Hiiro Yui?" Wufei pressed.

"Yes. What's the big deal? Heard of him?"

"Serena! He's the guy we've been looking for!" Duo cried out.

"Shh! Duo, you'll wake the kids." Quatre warned him.

"I'm sorry guys. What are you talking about?" Serena asked in frustration.

"Serena. Remember how we told you we were here in the city to find a old war friend? Hiiro Yui is the friend we've been searching for." Trowa replied calmly. Serena gasped.

"You're serious? You knew him during the war? He mentioned he had been in it this evening, but I never made the connection…"

"Do you know where he's going?" Duo asked her quietly.

"No. I have no idea where he lives. But you guys…" She was cut off.

"We have to track him." 

"Agreed. Winner, Barton, take the roofs. Maxwell and I will take the streets rendezvous in…"

"Guys!" Serena had to shout quite loudly before they listened to her. "I don't think it would be a good idea for you to try to track him. Apparently he's very good at hiding, and if you couldn't find him all these three years, maybe he doesn't want to be found." She told them quietly.

"Serena. Of course he wants to be found. We're his friends." Duo told her.

"No. I'm serious. I don't think you should see him." Serena told them quietly. 

"Why not Serena?" Quatre asked.

"Wait. Earlier you said the guy you were going to go out with had a bad lifestyle." Duo reasoned out. "If that guy was Hiiro, then Hiiro had a bad lifestyle."

"And I don't think he would appreciate his friends seeing him the way he is now." She finished.

"Why not? What does he do?" Wufei asked.

"I'm not saying." She refused. 

"Is he a killer? I mean, like an assassin or mercenary? That's not so bad. I can see him doing that." Trowa thought.

"What!" Serena gasped. These were her friends! The guys she thought she knew! Yet here they were, saying it would be alright for one of their friends to be a for hire murderer. At least Hiiro's 'clients' stayed alive. 

"Is he a killer? Or part of a gang?" Duo asked Serena.

"No! I cannot believe you're asking me this! And I thought I knew you all. You should be ashamed of yourselves to be prying at his life like this. Leave Hiiro alone! Honestly. He may be into an immoral lifestyle, but he's not a murderer! That's worse than what he does by far! Now look. If you want to try to follow him, go ahead. I have full confidence you won't find him. And while you're out searching for him, you think about how embarrassed he would be if he heard you speaking about him in such a manner. He may have a corrupt lifestyle, but at least his heart is in the right place! Good night!" Serena lectured them, inching them closer to the door. When they were close enough to it and she had finished her speech, she simply pushed on them and they all tumbled out onto the porch, leaving Serena to shut the door behind them.

"Great. Now what do we do?" Wufei grumbled.

"Well, you know what they say: 'hell hath no fury like a women's scorn'. I say we cut our losses and see if we can't try to find Hiiro." Duo said cheerfully. He was so happy to have finally found his best friend he didn't care what kind of a career Hiiro had picked up.

"I agree with Duo. Let's see if we can't find Hiiro. We'll deal with Serena tomorrow when she's in a better mood." Quatre added.

"Agreed." Trowa nodded. "But where do we begin?"

)(

Hiiro stood on the edge of road. Trying to look nonchalant, he leaned against a lamp post and closed his eyes. Allowing his thoughts to take over, his memories seeped through. Flashes of an unrecognizable face came and went. Then, slowly, the picture cleared. The face became more defined. Serena. She had a small quirked smile on her lips, and her eyes held mirth and contentment. This was a wonderful change from his usual daydreams. A honking car stopped him from thinking any further. 

"Hey." The woman smiled.

"Hey." Hiiro responded, turning on his cold charm.

"Get in." The woman was still smiling. Hiiro nodded briefly, then went around to the other side of the car and got in the passenger seat. The woman gunned the engine, then raced off, splashing snowy slush over a few figures walking on the sidewalk.

"Christ! You'd think drivers would be a little more careful!" Duo yelled. He, Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei were now sopping wet with brownish black slush and ice.

"We've lost Hiiro's trail, this is where it ends." Trowa commented, trying to cage his slight anger at the driver who had just splashed them. 

"It's getting pretty late. Maybe we should continue this tomorrow?" Quatre suggested.

"I agree with Winner. Being out in the cold all wet won't help. Better to begin afresh tomorrow." Wufei nodded.

"Fine with me." Trowa added.

"Guys! We were so close to finding him! Can't we just…"

"No." Three simultaneous voices overruled him.

"Fine." Duo sighed. "Bunch of wimps…" He muttered under his breath as they turned around to leave.

"Maxwell!" Wufei had obviously overheard him. Trowa and Quatre sighed as Duo and Wufei went at it again. All they needed was Hiiro, their missing link, and then they would be complete again. Just Hiiro. 

)(

"Coming, coming!" Serena called through the door. She was just grabbing her coat to leave when she heard a knock at the door. Opening the door, a tall dark figure was framed by the bright sun.

"Ready?" He asked her. Shivers ran down her spine. His voice was so low and cold, even when he seemed to be in a happy mood.

"I'm waiting for my babysitters. Would you like to come in?"

"There's more than one sitter?" He asked as he stepped inside.

"My friends come in pack. You get two pairs, or all four of them at any given time of the day." She laughed slightly at her joke. Then she straightened up and remembered a few things she probably should not have forgotten.

"Hiiro, my friends saw us on the porch last time."

"Oh? Were they upset?" He smirked.

"Well, they were surprised. But not because of our, well, my, actions. They were surprised because of who you were."

"They knew Cin?" Hiiro narrowed his eyes.

"No, actually. They knew Hiiro. They claimed to have gotten to know you in the Eve Wars. They wanted to track you, but I told them it wasn't a good night. I think they tried anyway, but they must have failed, or else you would have already known what I'm talking about." She babbled on. He grabbed her shoulders and lightly pressed her against him.

"What were their names Serena?"

"Oh. Duo, Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei." She answered, slightly flustered. She found it amusing that he was all of a sudden so animated over the thought of his friends in town.

Hiiro, on the other hand, didn't find it amusing at all. In fact, he found it incredibly worrisome. If his friends were in town, they would hear about his reputation as Cin. Not that he cared. Still.

"Hiiro? Are you alright?" Serena asked with concern.

"Fine. Just fine." He muttered. He looked down at her worried expression. Then he took notice of their proximity. So close… his heart rate increased. His blood pressure rose. It was hard to breath, and his senses were completely lost in the scent of her hair, the touch of her warm hand, the very sight of her.

"You're sure?" She asked. His eyes had suddenly glazed over with an unreadable expression. He was looking at her, yet looking past her. She felt his grip tighten and pull her in closer. With her body pressed against his full length, she could no feel the difference as well. His strong arms enclosing around her, his dark hair wildly falling into place over his blackened eyes. He was so dangerous looking, yet so sane and calm at the same time. Such an ironic juxtaposition was this man. 

"I'm not alright." He spoke in a dark, yet almost humorous tone.

"Oh?" She breathed slightly. It was getting to hot in the room for her to breath, to even concentrate. 

"No. I'm experiencing a loss of feeling. I'm numb." He mumbled. He was beyond the logic that told him to ignore his emotions. Just living in the moment was all he cared to do, all he wanted to think about. 

"What a shame. Where are you numb?" Serena played along.

"Everywhere." He whispered. 

"Well then. I can't do much for that." She giggled.

"Too bad." He murmured. Bending his neck he kissed her jaw line. Serena stay perfectly still, afraid to break the spell. He kissed her neck, then he pulled her shirt away and kissed her shoulder. Lifting his head, he closed the distance towards her lips. Softly at first, then adding more pressure, he eased himself upon her, hungrily ravishing her lips. Serena moaned under his actions, and he pushed her against the wall, deepening the kiss. Her arms came up and encircled his neck, pulling him in closer to her. 

"Yui! If you don't take your hands off her, I'm going to kill you." A familiar justice ridden voice broke the heavy mood. Hiiro and Serena ripped apart and, blushing furiously, tried to collect themselves in front of the their four friends.

"Hiiro!" Duo cried after Hiiro had given them his trademark greeting grunt. "Man, we've been looking for you everywhere! Where've you been buddy?"

"Around." Hiiro spat.

"Some welcome we get." Duo pouted.

"Hiiro. It's nice to see you again. We've been looking for you for a while." Quatre beamed at him.

"Yeah, well." Hiiro said, shrugging off any emotion he had previously acted with.

"Yui. How dare you take advantage of Serena in a such a fashion. It was an improper action for you to take."

"Wufei." They all turned to pay attention to Serena. "It's my fault. Really." She insisted. Hiiro smirked.

"It was not her fault." He spoke up. His words earned him a glare from Serena, a whistle from Duo, and a gasp from Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei. 

"Since when did you become such a ladies man Hiiro?" Duo taunted him. Hiiro's eyes darkened and his demeanor changed. Serena guessed why, and she felt bad that he now had to face his friends with the news of his job. Well. At least she could stall for him a little longer.

"Hiiro. We should go. Otherwise we'll be late."

"Hnn." He grunted, grabbing both his and her jackets and opening the door.

"Now guys. All three of the kids are still asleep. When they get up… well, just don't let them blow up the house. Quatre, Trowa, please try to keep it relatively sane in here, and guys, don't try to follow us, huh?" With that last remark, Serena slammed the door and jogged to catch up to Hiiro. 

"So Hiiro. How come you weren't happier to see your friends? I mean, hasn't it been three years? And they've always been so close. I assume you were close to them as well." Serena began quietly.

"I was happy. For them, that was a warm welcome." He smirked, trying to hide behind lies he knew she could see right through.

"Liar, liar, pants on fire, hanging on a telephone wire!" She snickered. "Seriously though. What happened? They've been looking for you for three years Hiiro. Why didn't you look for them?"

"Look. The wars are over. I don't need to be dragged to a reunion of soldiers. I remember the wars in explicit detail every night when I try to sleep. I have no use in returning to the past. I have to make up for the past destruction I've caused, not reminisce over it." He answered her calmly. She could still detect a sense that there was more to the situation, but she certainly wasn't going to push it.

"Alright then. They really are nice guys though. I don't know what I'd do without them."

"They good babysitters?" Hiiro asked her.

"The best. They keep the kids entertained as well as are able to handle any situation. It's perfect."

"Good. We're here."

"We're where?" Serena asked confused. They were staring up at a four story apartment building that was out in the middle of nowhere. 

"Home. Come on." He said as he led her in through the maze of hallways. Suddenly the hall opened up into a grand room. "This used to be a hotel. It was abandon six years ago. A few years after it had been abandoned, I suppose they changed it into an orphanage. It's been set up for war orphans, but there are children here with very diverse backgrounds."

"But why bring me here?" Serena asked again.

"This is where I sleep if I can't get a job. I wanted you to help me. Today I've brought a few things for the kids."

"What sorts of things?" She asked. Hiiro brought out a bag and she recognized it immediately.

"That's the bag you bought from Jerry! The night he hit on me in the bar!"

"Yeah."

"You mean it's full of toys?" She asked in wonderment.

"What did you think it was full of? Stolen goods? Drugs even? I don't think so."

" And your going to give them to the kids here? Hiiro, that's so sweet! Are you friends with all of the kids?"

"I know most all of them.:"

"You're amazing Hiiro, honestly amazing."*


	8. No One Should Feel Responsible

Chapter Eight: No One Should Feel Responsible

*The moment he opened the door, a horde of children looked towards it to see who might be intruding upon their humble home. A chorus of "Hiiro!" fell upon the two figures, and a stampede began. They stopped mid run when they realized Hiiro had a friend with him. Suddenly shying away, they backed off until an old man and woman walked into the room. 

"Hiiro Yui! I've given you permission to spend the night here a few times, not bring your trashy customers here! You leave this instant!" The woman began to scold. Hiiro ignored her. Maren had always been a touchy, grouchy, old woman. He didn't see…

"Hiiro my boy. Back again so soon?"

"Dr. J." Hiiro acknowledged the old man. It was the least he could do- after all; the old man raised him, even if it had been as an assassin. 

"Yes, well. Now that you've said hello to J, leave Yui." Maren continued.

"Hnn." Was the response he gave her. Then he turned and pulled on Serena's arm. Pulling her into the light, he noticed she was reluctant to look him in the eye. Figured. Maren always had a way of degrading people.

"J. This is Serena. She's not a customer, she's here to help me distribute the goods."

"You need help giving a few kids some toys Hiiro? I should think that it would be an easy enough mission for you to complete on your own. Otherwise I would have called the other pilots into action. And be more polite to my wife Hiiro." Dr. J smirked. Hiiro scowled, but nodded in confirmation.

"That boy of yours will never be polite to me J. He doesn't know how to be polite. He's a goddamned whore for crying out loud!" Maren loudly whispered so only the adults would hear her.

"Hnn." Hiiro grunted. He could care less what she said. Most of it was true, so why stop someone from speaking the truth?

"And as for your little hussy over there, you can just drag her back to the street corner where she came from. We don't serve her type here."

"Hnn." But this time Maren was pushing it.

"Now then Maren. Hiiro explained before she's not a customer. Leave the girl alone. Hiiro, distribute the goods." 

"Roger that." Hiiro stated without thinking. Training and mind drilled responses flowed naturally as he began to make his way towards the children, who had all gathered behind a table to watch them argue.

"Hiiro?" Serena asked quietly. She was quite confused as to what exactly had just happened. She understood that the man Hiiro referred to as Dr. J had some personal connection to Hiiro. And if this Maren was J's wife, and she didn't like Hiiro… but Hiiro just stood and took it in stride. He continued to surprise her. She had thought perhaps he might have a temper over the older woman's cutting remarks, yet he didn't seem to care one way or another. Still she was confused on what Hiiro had brought her here for. Only to distribute the toys? Was that all, or was there something more that she couldn't see?

"We are to distribute the goods." Hiiro said monotonously. He had slipped into soldier mode and didn't quite remember why he had brought Serena with him.

"I heard. But you don't seem to need my help. Maybe I should just leave…" She began to retreat. Hiiro snapped out if his hypnosis and grabbed Serena's wrist.

"No. Help me." His voice was low and cold. Shivers ran up her spine. He scared her. But then, he truly meant he needed her help. His eyes were glazed over and seemed so empty. He needed more than just help now. He needed help always. He needed someone to lean on, to trust. Could she possibly help him in that way? Was she strong enough to help someone as unstable as Hiiro Yui? Cin? She couldn't even help her own mother. Yet Hiiro had asked her, pleaded for her help. Could she do it? She would give it her best shot.

"Alright." She stopped fighting his pull in her wrist and allowed herself to be dragged towards the children. 

"Hiiro? Who's the lady?" One of the little girls asked. Serena smiled when she saw Hiiro relax and smile as well. A smile fit him.

"This is my friend, Serena. She's going to help me today."

"Hi Serena!" A bunch of little voices spoke in unison. 

"Hello." She answered back. Hiiro turned and handed her a few toys. 

"Their names are labeled on the tags. Pass them out and see to it that they are satisfactory." He instructed her.

"Aye, Aye Sir Yui, Roger that mission control!" Serena gave a salute at Hiiro, then winked and giggled. A bunch of the kids who heard her laughed. "Now then. Corrine!" She began reading off the names. Hiiro had given her the younger children's things while he himself distributed the older children's new 'toys'. Out of the corner of his eye he watched Serena with her bright smile and cheerful laugh making fast friends with the little boys and girls. She was beautiful in her blissful unawareness of the true ways of the world, yet she was not an innocent stranger to problems and pain. He could see how even the mirth in her heart could not shine through the sad gleam in her eyes that had captivated his own. And as much as he hated the thought that she was secretly depressed, he knew he could never be the one to help break her depression, because he himself didn't know how to break through his own.

"So Hiiro. Tell us about your 'friend'." Hiiro looked up to find the three sixteen year old guys standing around him. They were each smiling in a secretive way. 

"Yeah Hiiro. How long have you been banging her?" Another one said.

"I haven't been sleeping with her. She's a friend." Hiiro answered calmly.

"Really? She's not just some slut off the street?" The third one asked.

"No. Once more and you won't wake up in the morning." Hiiro threatened. Maren could get away with it. The boys could not.

"She's seriously hot though. Where'd you find her?"

"Not important."

"Alright, well, what is she to you? Girlfriend? She's obviously not a lover, otherwise you wouldn't be so tense. She looks like she'd bee good in bed though… strong arms and legs make for good love making." One of the boys joked. The other two laughed.

"Enough." Hiiro threatened, flashing his gun. The boys stopped, but they could all see Hiiro's flushing face as well.

"Well then. She's just your girlfriend?"

"No. We've dated very little." Hiiro managed to choke out.

"Really? You don't like her then? Then how come you brought her?" Hiiro looked at hard at the three boys. All three had reddish colored hair. They had dyed it that color a few months back. They could almost pass for brothers. Tom, David, and Jim. All three were inseparable troublemakers, but all three had earned his respect. They knew of his past, and still teased him. They were like young Duos, only more hyperactive and less experienced. He trusted them enough to tell them.

"I like her. A lot. I've only known her for a week." His face grew warmer with each word out of his mouth.

"Where'd you meet her, seriously?"

"Her mother was a customer."

"What?" All three spat. That was not what they had been thinking. 

"Her mother was drunk and came to me. I brought her home, and Serena put her foot down and kicked me out. I left willingly, though, after I found out she had three little siblings in the house with her. But I made her pay me a hundred bucks for a my trouble. She didn't have the money at the time, so when she made the drop off, I asked her out."

"Hiiro. Her mother?" David laughed. The other two looked more serious.

"You like her that much? You must, I mean, you never date. Never." Tom said thoughtfully.

"Yeah." He glanced at Serena again.

"Then why are you still so tense. She came today, and she's still here. Must mean she likes you." 

"Hnn." 

"Hiiro. You've had your fun here, that's enough. Don't be giving these boys any ideas now. Spoiling them and such. Get lost." Maren had come up to them sometime during their conversation.

"Hnn."

"I mean it. Get your dirty, sinning ass out of my home, or else." 

"Hnn." But Hiiro stood and began gathering his things. "Serena. We're leaving." She looked over him.

"Alright." She said unsure. Why had Hiiro so abruptly announced they were leaving? It was not out of character, of course, but neither was it in character. She stood and gathered her coat. "It was nice to meet all of you." She smiled warmly at the three boys whom she had seen Hiiro talking with. 

"Goodbye Serena." One of them stepped forward.

"Take care of Hiiro for us. Can't have our benefactor getting sick or hurt or something worse, now could we?" 

"No, of course not!" She smiled, laughing. Hiiro grabbed her hand and began tugging her away. As soon as they were outside, Hiiro turned to her.

"Thank you for coming."

"Anytime. It was fun. Your makeshift family is really very sweet." She smiled.

"So are you." He whispered. Gently he bent over and softly placed a tiny kiss on her cheek. "Can you find your own way home from here? I unfortunately have a meeting to attend."

"Of course, don't worry about me." He nodded and turned to walk away.

"Hiiro." He turned back. "Don't be a stranger. Come by and visit. I know my brother and sisters would love you. And the guys miss you."

"What about you?" She blushed. He liked the look of it.

"I would miss you too of course."

"Then I won't be a stranger. Goodbye for now Serena." He shoved his hands in his pockets and strolled away. Serena stood for a moment stunned, then did the same.

)(

"Hey Serena! Where's Hiiro?" Quatre smiled at her as she stepped back into the warmth of the house.

"Hi Quatre. Hiiro had a meeting to get to. Sorry, I know how much you and the others were looking forward to catching up with each other."

"That's alright. We knew he probably wasn't going to walk you back home knowing we were here." Quatre sighed. He had truly hoped they would be able to sit and speak with Hiiro again. But then, he had known that what Serena had said the other night was true. Her words still echoed in his mind, and thought she had spoken them when she had been slightly mad, he wondered if there wasn't some truth to them: "I don't think it would be a good idea for you to try to track him. Apparently he's very good at hiding, and if you couldn't find him all these three years, maybe he doesn't want to be found."

Perhaps Serena was right. Maybe Hiiro Yui had hidden because he didn't want to be found. But why? That was what plagued Quatre the most. Why would Hiiro feel the need to hide himself from the rest of the world? During the Eve Wars, Duo had once said something to Hiiro. Though he hadn't meant for him to overhear it, Quatre had: "If you leave him alone too long, pretty soon he'll begin blaming himself for everything. I wouldn't be surprised if one day he claims his 'lack of effort' is the reason there's no air in outer space." After Quatre had heard that, he had really gone on an inner soul search. He had spent days after destroying his Gundam reflecting and thinking. Duo had been right. He had been blaming himself for everything that went wrong. 

Perhaps that was what Hiiro was doing. No one should feel responsible for the war, yet Hiiro felt the need to make up for it by punishing himself. Well then. This was going to have to stop. Quatre's only problem was he didn't know how to convince Hiiro otherwise. Maybe something would come to him later. 

"Guys!" Quatre called. "Serena's home!" 

"So how are my brother and sisters?" She smirked.

"Actually they were pretty mellow today." Trowa spoke as he entered the foyer, joining the other two. " After they woke up, we took a walk and played in the snow. And then hot chocolate. Lizbeth is taking her afternoon nap, and the other two are playing a video game in the family room."

"Wow. Sound like you guys had a busy day. Thank you so much for watching them. So tell me. How much do I owe you this time? And if you say…"

"Twelve bucks Sere, twelve bucks." Duo grinned as he and Wufei joined them.

"Guys…"

"Every time Sere. So why do you argue with us?" Duo laughed.

"Because one day I'm hoping to knock some sense into you." She giggled as she handed over the money.

"So are we coming back anytime soon? To baby-sit while you, say, have another date with our Perfect Soldier?" Duo smirked, nudging Serena. She smiled and blushed.

"Suddenly you seem to blush an awful lot Sere. Could it have something to do with a certain guy?" Trowa taunted her lightly.

"Guys! Come on now!" She wailed gently. 

"I think we've caught her!" Quatre smiled devilishly.

"No! Honestly! And besides. We didn't set up another date, so it doesn't matter. So there!" Her face was bright red, she could feel the heat radiating off of herself.

"No more dates? You were sucking face earlier with him. Are you that easily swayed Serena?" Wufei asked haughtily. Apparently he was still unhappy about walking in on her and Hiiro kissing…

"Wufei! We weren't sucking face. And I admit, I was very easily swayed. But I don't have a problem with that in this case."

"Serena! What you two were doing was dishonorable. And Yui taking advantage of you in such a way."

"I don't have a problem with it. It's not like he doesn't do it everyday with other women!"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Duo cried out. Serena gasped and threw her hands up over her mouth. What had she said? What had she done? And, what, did it mean?

"Nothing! It means nothing! I'm sorry. My temper caught the better of me. I shouldn't have spoken, I'm sorry…"

"No Sere. What's said is said. So spill it." Duo said darkly.

"Look, I said some things that…"

"That could mean a lot to us if you don't tell us. Now then. What was that about Hiiro seducing women?" Trowa explained to her gently. Serena hung her head, ashamed to be giving away Hiiro's secret.

"Hiiro works at night. He helps women with their… problems. He helps by helping them forget their problems."

"And how does he do that?"

"He, he charges… he charges for sex." She managed to whisper out.

"He what?" All four of the guys blew a fuse. 

"Serena. You can't be serious. Hiiro is a whore?" Quatre asked in disbelief. He had thought Hiiro had had problems. He had never thought they ran this deep though.

"He prefers male prostitute. But yes, that's his current occupation."

"Serena. You would date a whore?" Wufei sneered. 

"Wufei! You've known him from the war! Would you honestly call him a whore? I wouldn't. Hiiro is one of the nicest, kindest men I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. He saved my life when a few men at a bar tried to hassle me, he is the perfect gentleman, well, most of the time anyway, and he is for the most part incredibly caring about others. He isn't just some…slut off the street! 

"The fact remains that he sells himself for sex."

"Look. Maybe you should hear the whole story before you judge him. I'll tell you this. He's living with a man by the name of Dr. J and his wife Maren in an…"

"Dr. J! You know Dr. J?"

"Hiiro took me to meet him today. When Hiiro can't get a job, he sleeps with the orphanage that Dr. J and his wife run."

"That old coot doctor is married?" Duo scratched his head in wonder. 

"Yes. She's not very nice though. But I'm sure Dr. J can tell you where to find Hiiro tonight.

"Very well. Guys, let's go. We have some tracking to do." Trowa spoke in the silence that had befallen the room. 

"Serena! Serena!" 

"Lizbeth must have had a bad dream. I had better get up there. Look guys. Thank you for baby-sitting. Just remember that when you find Hiiro, go easy on him. He does his job for a reason, and whether you understand it or not, it's a decent one. Much better than those ideas you had of him being a killer. He isn't one of them, plain and simple." She nodded to herself, then turned and began climbing the stairs to help her crying little sister. 

Each of the guys exchanged a slightly guilty and worried look. What would Serena do when she found out the truth?*

~~~JUST a check in. How's this going so far? Everyone hanging in there? No one's bored yet, are they? I'm struggling hard on this one… writer's block is really taking it's toll on me. But I promise I WILL NOT LEAVE IT UNFINISHED! -Vixen


	9. I'll Always Be Alone

~~~NOTE: OUT OF CHARACTER- Hey, it's my fic, and they're different people in it than in the anime. Sorry.~~~

Chapter Nine: I'll Always Be Alone…

*"He has to be around here some where. This is where Dr. J said he usually could be found." Quatre said as the five looked around, desperately searching for their lost friend.

"I just can't imagine. Hiiro as a whore. What a headliner: Ex- Gundam Pilot Goes Corrupt." Duo laughed slightly. Then he stopped. It wasn't really all that funny. Actually, it was depressing when he thought about it. 

Duo had always pictured Hiiro as the strong, silent type. One who would do anything to survive. But it didn't make sense. Hiiro could have had a high paying job. He could have been living the good life, taking care of himself. But here he was, giving up all he had for others, instead of taking care of himself the way he should be. What the hell had his rational been when he had first turned down this path to self-destruction? Wufei's haughty voice rang in Duo's ears, stopping any further thoughts.

"Maxwell. Shut that death trap mouth of yours. Otherwise…"

"I'll kill you." Was the cut off that came from the shadows. The four boys turned around to find themselves face to familiar face with Hiiro Yui's best friend- his handgun.

"Hiiro!" Quatre cried, oblivious to the gun. "We've been searching everywhere for you!"

"I know. I was watching you." Hiiro smirked and put the safety back on his gun. Putting it away, he came into the light of the streetlamp. 

"So Hiiro. How've you been?" Trowa asked.

"Hnn."

"Yui. Give us a straight answer for a change. What the hell were you thinking? There is no honor in selling your body for money." Wufei sneered.

"Whoever said I was concerned about my honor was sorely mistaken. I have no honor. I haven't had any since before the Eve Wars. Did you want something from me? Or can I get back to work?" The glare in Hiiro's eyes made his four friends draw back in fear and disbelief. Though they would never admit it, they were terrified of Hiiro Yui in the mental state he had apparently worked himself into. 

Trowa watched with devastated eyes as his Perfect comrade demonstrated once again his self-hatred. Early on in the wars Hiiro had mistakenly shot down a pacifist airplane. Afterwards he had tried to atone for his sin by handing his life over to that of the family who's loved one had been on the plane. Then he had demonstrated how far he was willing to go to punish himself for mistakes. Now he was once again showing how his psyche and guilty conscience were dictating his life. And this scared Trowa more than any gun or weapon ever could, watching his own friend fall from grace so quickly and easily. Hiiro was just the result of another slip up in the system.

"Go back to work Hiiro. We can catch up some other time." Trowa stated calmly.

"Fine. Tell Serena I said hello." Hiiro said, frowning. Trowa had given in too easily. That was different.

"No way in hell. Yui. You've corrupted our Sere." Wufei spat, narrowing his eyes and crossing his arms. 

"Have I?" 

"Yes. Kissing her, leading her on. You're nothing but a whore now. You can't honestly expect her to believe you care? But she does. And when she finds out you don't, that you're just playing her for her looks, her heart'll break." Wufei explained.

"Who says I don't care?" Hiiro glared.

"Me. You sell yourself to others, even though you've begun dating one woman. That is wrong, and if you cared you would stop this foolish and dishonorable behavior this instant."

"Oh? She knows what I am. And she still went out with me."

"And does she know about your past? In the war? Does she know that?"

"She knows I was in the war." Hiiro was getting more upset by the minute. How dare these 'friends' show up all of a sudden and begin trying to tell him how to live his life.

"And when she finds out what you were specifically? Serena has a problem with killers. Yes. She didn't speak to us for quite sometime after we told her we had been killers in the war. Not doctors, or engineers, or anything else. She has an issue with killers. And you're as bigger a mercenary as they come. You're Gundam Pilot 01. What do you think she's going to do when she finds out? She won't be too happy…"

"Serena would do that?" Hiiro replied softly to himself, thinking it over in his mind.

"Yeah, she would." Wufei finished.

"Hiiro, Wufei's right. Serena was horribly angry with us when she found out we had been soldiers and pilots in the war. I think you should be more careful around her." Quatre told him quietly.

"I don't need to listen to you. She'll do as she wants, and if she wants to see me, then let her come." Hiiro sneered.

"You'll end up hurting each other Hiiro." Trowa stated calmly.

"No." Hiiro shook his head in disbelief. A car horn honked. Hiiro directed his attention to the car that was nearing the curb. "Excuse me." She shoved Trowa and Wufei aside and stepped over to the car. Quatre, Trowa, Duo, and Wufei watched in amazement as their friend, their own blood brother, began to prostitute himself right in front of their eyes. 

"Hi honey. Aren't you sweet looking. You wouldn't be interested in a one night stand, now would you?" Hiiro smiled as he poured on fake charm. 

"As a matter of fact handsome, I was looking for Cin. Know where I can find him?" The woman in the car smiled devilishly.

"You're looking at him Beautiful."

"Then hop in. I'm up for a little bit if fun." She laughed and winked at the other guys. "Sorry boys. I got what I came for." Revving her engine, she tore away from the curb and squealed her tires into the distance.

"Well. That was helpful." Duo snorted. 

"Maxwell. One of these days Serena's going to find out. Then what's going to happen?" Wufei asked concerned.

"Serena's heart will break because of her complex with killing. She'll think Hiiro betrayed her. Hiiro's heart will break because he'll think she's betray him in not supporting him. Both of our friends will be the other's destruction, and neither of them will listen to us." Quatre sighed. 

"It would be better if they had never met." Duo added glumly. 

"Let's go. I don't think we can do anything more just standing and talking." Trowa said quietly. 

"Trowa's right. Let's leave. Yui can take care of himself. We need to be there for Serena though." Wufei said decidedly. Nodding, all four of them began the long trek back to their apartment.

)(

Hiiro had been pacing around the bar for the last two hours. After his one nightstand, he had immediately gone to get drunk. What his friends had said, especially Wufei, had hit him hard. He truly had no honor. Here he was, selling sex. Did this help to atone for his sins? Or was it just a waste, like the rest of the damnation he called life? But the thing that nagged at his brain the most, the thing that had been pulling at his melting heartstrings was what his friends, his blood brothers, had said about Serena. 

Would Serena really throw him out for being a soldier? For being a killer? She had mentioned it once before, how she didn't like the thought of killers. But would she go that far? The very thought of whether she would or wouldn't was eating away at his mind. He needed to know. Sobering himself up as best he could, he grabbed his coat and began the trek to Serena's house. He couldn't get there soon enough.

)(

The phone at Serena's house rung. And rung. And rung.

"Alright, alright, I'm coming. You'd think with four people in the house someone would pick up the phone besides me. But no…" Serena was in a cynical mood. Wufei's cutting remarks about her being dishonorable and allowing Hiiro to kiss her as he had were bothering her. But it wasn't so much that as what had followed: "And Yui taking advantage of you in such a way."

Had Hiiro really only been taking advantage of her? For her looks? Because she was easy? Because she was there? No, that couldn't be it… could it? Any relationship, she knew, was built on trust. And in her questions, she knew she was questioning the level of trust between herself and Hiiro. She felt guilty for it. But at the same time, she wondered, did they even have a relationship? One that was worth perusing, one that might last? She hoped so, but at the same time, didn't. It was unusual- she had never had to deal with anything like it before. 

"Hello?" She said into the receiver.

"Ms. Serena Tsukino?" A deep voice came over the phone.

"Yes, this is she speaking. How may I help you?"

"This is Officer Kelner of the district police. I have a Mrs. Ilene Tsukino here with me. Might you know her?" Serena, slightly startled, barely manage to choke out an answer.

"Yes, she's my mother. Is she alright? I mean, she's known to disappear over a few days, so I wasn't too worried, but…"

"Yes, yes. Your mother is fine Ms. Tsukino. However, she was so drunk two nights ago we picked her up and held her in custody for the night. Last night we picked her up again, once again drunk. I'm calling to inform you she is in the county jail tonight once again. Her bail has been set at one hundred dollars. However. If we pick her up again, I will be forced to take stronger actions regarding her case."

"Thank you so much officer. I'm on my way down right now. Thank you so much. Officer, may I ask a question?"

"Yes?"

"Why is my mother not the one calling?"

"She's passed out I'm afraid. I found her driver's license in her purse and called her number."

"I can't thank you enough. I'll be right down."

"I'll be waiting." He said quickly, and then hung up the phone. Carefully, Serena replaced the phone in its cradle. Shaking her head, she choked back tears. Her own mother was in jail for indecent public behavior. She had never thought it would come down to this.

Their entire quality of life of being destroyed a little more each day, each day life itself wore them down a little more until finally they had no rational thought in their mind. That was what had finally happened to her mother, and it was what was slowly beginning to eat away at her.

"Never mind that." She said to herself, shaking the horrible thoughts out of her head. "I need to get down to that jail." Just as she picked up the phone to call Quatre, the doorbell rang. Confused as to who might be at their door, she put the phone down and opened the door.

"Hiiro!" She said in surprise.

"Serena. I have a question for you." He said brashly.

"Hiiro, is this important? I just found out my mother's in ja…"

"I was a killer in the war." He blurted out. It wasn't exactly how he had hoped it would come out, but it was too late to worry of that now.

"What?" He watched her face fall from it's already concerned expression to one of complete confusion. He eyes, however, were narrowed. They were no longer the sapphire blue, but blazing black. They terrified him.

"Serena. In the war. I was a murderer. In fact, I was raised as an assassin."

"What?" She repeated. This was all moving too fast for her. He was a, a, killer? One who took the most precious of things- life? How could that be? But here he was, telling her very bluntly the truth. No. She refused to think of it. No, it couldn't, it, he, wouldn't… but here it was, all laid before her in clear and simple words. He was an assassin. "You, you were a killer in the war?"

"Yes." He nodded vigorously. Did she understand what he just said? That he was a murderer; that his hands were so blood stained that he wanted to throw-up every time he looked at them?

"You took lives? _Lives_? What?" She began to laugh. "You were part of the Alliance? No, no, even better! You were part of OZ! Wonderful!" She laughed harder. So hard her stomach began to ach. But then, her heart already ached. And her head was pounding. Her skin was cold, and everything was numb to the touch. It was as if she had stepped outside of herself and was watching from a far away place. Everything was blurry and in slow motion. She had kissed a killer. She had dated a killer. She had trusted some one who had destroyed life. 

"No, actually." He frowned and narrowed his eyes. What exactly was her point? Why was she laughing? 

"The what? Were you part of the White Fang and those colonist rebels? What, go on, tell me, Cin." She had stopped laughing. Her voice was sharp and cruel. 

"I was part of a rebel group. But not part of the White Fang. More a part of the Gundam rebellion." Hiiro watched as her eyes widened and her jaw dropped open. She stood speechless. 

"A Gundam pilot? You, you're a Gundam pilot?" She finally whispered. 

"Yes."

"Get. Out." She clipped. "Get out! Now! Leave! And don't you ever return! Ever!" She screamed. Tears threatened to fall, but she pushed them away with her raging hatred. 

"Serena, I came to tell you…"

"Get out now! You Gundam trash! Let me guess. You're Gundam pilot, zero one too." She laughed through her anger. "That just takes the cake. Get the hell out of my house! Now!"

"Why?" He began to lose his cool. Even if he was scum on the face of the Earth, how dare she scream at him?

"Damn killer! My father went to be a killer, and would you like to know something? You killed him! You, pilot zero one, killed my father. My mother's a drunken fool now, I have to raise my brother and sisters, pay the bills, and work now, all because of you and your damn guns! You stupid murderer! You get out of my house and don't you ever come back! I hate you! Pig! Bastard!" She cried, getting more emotional by the second. She shoved him out of the door, and slammed it behind him, locking it. 

Hiiro stood on Serena's porch. They had been right. His friends had tried to warn him, she would bee his destroyer, his downfall. And she had been. Because he had let hi weak emotions get in the way of what he knew to be true. 

Hiiro knew it to be true that he was a sinner. He knew it to be true that he was a killer, not worth the dirt he walked upon. He knew he wasn't worth the waste of resources it took to keep him living, and he knew that he was a bastard who deserved to suffer for all his horrible acts during the war. He knew it all. But he also knew it to be true that he had harbored more than just lust for a girl for the first time. And now that girl had rejected him because of his sins. What a waste.

He stood. And stood. And hung his head. Turning, he began walking down the walkway towards the street, never once looking back. Because if he did, he was afraid someone might see the tears streaming down his face. Damn these emotions. What a waste.

Serena sat on the floor, against her front door. Tears were steaming down her face. Hot tears of hatred. What a joke! Who had she been kidding? Her and Hiiro, in a relationship. This was why she had promised herself she would never date, never fall in love. Because sooner or later everyone betrays someone. But here she was, before she had even fallen in love, and Hiiro had betrayed her. He was the one she hated the most, the one who had destroyed her perfect life. He had killed her father, therefore killing the rest of her hopes and dreams. He was the betrayer, he was the bastard. But why did she feel so guilty then? After her sobs had calmed down, she reached for the phone. Dialing a familiar number, she waited while the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Duo?" She asked softly.

"Serena? Sere, what's wrong?" 

"I, I need you… please, can you come over?" She begged.

"I'm there." With that, he hung up the phone. She dropped the receiver and just continued to cry. She didn't know how long she sat, crying her heart out, but when she saw Duo, Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei, she ran out the door to them. They caught her in a giant hug and her tears only flowed more. She was crying for all the pain she had ever endured silently. Everything. 

"Do you want us to beat him up Sere?" Wufei asked her hopefully. Through her tears she laughed.

"No. I did a really good job of chewing him out. But then, why do I feel so guilty?"

"Maybe because you're too nice?" Trowa suggested.

"No. More like I'm a heartless brat. I really hurt him. Really, really hurt him. And even though he hurt me, it hurts me even worse to know I hurt him." 

"Sere, did you ever think of…"

"Don't say it Quatre. _That_ isn't possible. I would never… no, never." She wiped her tears and finally stood. "Oh my god, my mother!"*

~~~Hey! Check in: How is this? I'm not getting a lot of reviews… and on my other one, Shangri-La, I'm not getting a lot of reviews either. I'm kind of getting worried here… Anyway… this one's about to be wrapped up. Maybe another three chapters, two and an epilogue, and then it'll be over. So keep reading, and please review!~~~


	10. Death of the Innocent

Chapter Ten: Death of the Innocent

*"Your mother?" Wufei snorted. The others laughed slightly.

"Yeah, my mother. She's in jail. I have to go make bail."

"Sere, I know this is a touchy subject, but what did your mother do this time?" Duo asked carefully.

"She was drunk again. The cops picked her up last night off the street for public indecency. Apparently she's so drunk she passed out in the jail. Would you guys…"

"We'll watch for the kids to get home from school. They're there for the potluck dinner, right? Don't worry about it." Quatre flagged her off.

"Thanks. I really owe you guys." She barely managed a smile, then grabbed her coat.

"Sere, I'll drive you over there. If your mother's passed out, you won't be able to carry her home." Trowa explained to her.

"Alright then. Do you know where the nearest police station is?" She asked him as they stepped out the front door.

"Yeah, don't worry about it. I've got it covered." 

)( 

"Cin! Hey Cin! Hey baby, looking sharp!" A woman called over the mess. Hiiro just nodded slightly in acknowledgement. He was in a hurry. Where could he go? He needed help. He needed to forget. 

"Cin!' The same woman was running to catch him. He didn't feel like avoiding her, so he just let her come.

"Hnn." He nodded once again in response to her.

"So Cin. It looks like your free right about now. Care for a little business?" Stepping up to him, the woman rubbed herself against him slowly and enticingly. Hiiro took one look at her and made his decision. 

"Where's your place sweetheart?" The girl giggled and pecked Hiiro's lips. He did not hesitate to pull her in for a harder, longer, and deeper kiss. They stood for minutes on end, lips pressed hard against each other in a passionate exchange of saliva. 

"Come on Cin, this way." Hiiro allowed the woman to pull his shirt in the direction she wanted to go. Through the back allies and into a darkly lit apartment they walked. Each step Hiiro took brought him one step farther away from his troubles. And each step he took drew away from the light that he had found while with Serena. Back into the dark of his self-loathing he fell. And he fell hard. But now was not the time for logical thoughts. He narrowed his once idealistic notions and silly impossible dreams down to the practical thinking of ways to bring pleasure to the woman in front of him. She looked like a woman who would like foreplay… 

"Sorry, what did you say?" He asked the woman in front of him. He had heard her speaking, but he had been too lost in his own thoughts to concentrate on her words. 

"I said, you can call me Vivian. So tell me, Cin. I heard you were off the market… is there any truth to that rumor?"

"I'm here with you, aren't I?"

"Yes," She paused, then looked him into the eyes and smiled wickedly. "You are."

"What you missed was that I upped my price. Two hundred an hour." He said suddenly. He wasn't sure why, but he was compelled to raise his price. Not that he was worth it. In fact, he probably hadn't been worth the one hundred he had been charging before. But the one hundred just didn't seem enough suddenly. Too much thinking… he needed to let go, forget.

"Well then. I suppose I won't keep you the whole night. Three hours will be enough I suppose." She sighed disappointedly, then spoke once more. "But Cin. I want it my way. You had better be worth the cash." Hiiro couldn't respond. Was he worth the cash?

)(

They stepped into the jail and their senses were slammed with violations. Cigar and cigarette smoke filled their lungs, causing Serena to cough. The lights flickered hot yellow artificial light, stinging their eyes, and the noise of the phone ringing, the talking, and the fights rang deafeningly in their ears. 

"Who are we looking for?" Trowa whispered in Serena's ear. She couldn't deal with this all. Such a crazy room, all of the activity and noise. It made her feel sick. Swaying slightly, she grabbed Trowa's arm to steady herself. So many things, all spinning in the opposite direction from where she wanted to go. She felt as if she were falling down a dark hole, slipping out of grace and into hell. But her mother was counting on her. And her brother and sisters were counting on her. She couldn't fall just yet. She needed to hang on, just for a little while longer. But her fingers were slipping…

"We need to find an Officer Kelner. He's the one that called me to inform me about my mother." Serena managed to stand her ground and answer Trowa.

"Wait here and I'll go…"

"No! I'll come with you. She's my mother Trowa." Serena stood up for herself and bravely held her head up. Trowa looked at her with glazed eyes for a moment. He knew what was happening to her. He had seen it happen before. She was losing her grasp on reality. But he also knew that she would keep it, as long as she had others like her mother who were dependent upon her. Serena would not allow herself to fall yet. And he admired her for that.

"Fine. But stay close to me." He advised her. 

"Don't worry, I will." She smiled a meek smile, then followed as Trowa cut his way through the throng of cops, criminals, secretaries, and others people milling around in the station. They finally made their way to a desk in the back of the room. On the nameplate on the deal it read 'J.R. Kelner'. Behind the desk sat a man that Serena thought fit the voice she had heard over the phone- a slightly overweight, middle-aged man with graying brown hair and clear gray eyes. 

"Excuse me." Trowa stated softly. The man looked up and with hard, scrutinizing eyes, glared at Trowa. 

"Yes? Can I help you young man?" Kelner asked, with a tone that implied Trowa might perhaps be guilty of some crime.

"Yes. I'm looking for someone." Trowa thanked himself for the fact that he had a good deal of patience. 

"Look sonny. Missing person's reports can be filed over at window four. So if that's all, I really don't have the time to fool around." Kelner shot Trowa down, then went back to his paper work. 

"Excuse me sir." Serena stepped out form behind Trowa.

"What now?" Kelner looked back up and his entire disposition changed. "Excuse me. I mean; may I help you Ms.?" Serena smiled and saw Trowa frown out of the corner of her eye. Serena had known Kelner would pay attention to her. Usually she could get attention when others could not. She had never wondered why, but was always thankful when it came in handy for situations like this one.

"Yes. You called me earlier today about my mother, Ilene Tsukino. We've come to bail her out."

"Ah, of course Ms. Tsukino." Kelner looked at the woman before him. She was gorgeous. If he played his cards right… but what of the man beside her? "I'm sorry sir, I didn't catch your name."

"Trowa. Trowa Barton." So they weren't related. Interesting to know.

Trowa saw the gleam in the older man's eyes and knew what was coming. But he would do everything in his power to stop it. "If you don't mind sir, my girlfriend would like her mother back?"

Serena stopped and inwardly gasped. What the heck did Trowa think he was saying? She thought of him as just a friend. What was going on?

"Trowa?" 

"In a minute Sere. Her mother, officer?" He repeated.

"Of course. Let me go get her." Kelner stepped back. Damn. Well, there was always tomorrow. With that tired thought, he stood and picked up a ring full of keys. He went off to let the prisoner out.

"Trowa?" Serena repeated in confusion.

"Sorry Sere. He was going to make a move on you. I should have made you wait in the car." Trowa explained.

"Oh." She was surprised at the information that Trowa had just provided her. She hadn't seen a come-on coming on. Oh well. It was for the best. "Thanks Trowa." She gave him a sad smile, which he returned concernedly. 

Serena was stretching herself too thin. That, plus the problems with Hiiro and her mother, and of course her brother and sisters were all adding up. The least he could do was help to watch out for her safety. But she almost seemed like she refused the help most of time. Poor Sere…

"Serena!" Ilene called from down the hall. Kelner was leading Ilene by the arm.

"Mom!" Serena rushed up to embrace her mother. Leading her mother away from Kelner, she headed back towards Trowa. 

"Hello Trowa." Ilene said.

"Hello Mrs. Tsukino." He replied without skipping a beat. At least Mrs. Tsukino didn't seem to be drunk anymore. 

"Not quite so loud dear. I have a horrible headache." Ilene winced.

"Her bail was set at one hundred dollars." Kelner said tiredly. He hated being ignored.

"Oh, yes, I'm sorry." Serena said. She reached into her purse and pulled out the hard earned cash. The last of her savings for that month. How would she pay the mortgage? The electricity? Water? Gas? Phone? And what about food? Damn. Well, she would have to think about all that tomorrow. 

"Thank you. Mrs. Tsukino, you are a free woman. But if they bring you in again…"

"I know, I know. Thank you officer." Ilene cut him off. Serena and Ilene, both being helped by Trowa, made their way out of the busy police station and into the car.

"Thank you for bailing me out." Ilene finally said, breaking their silence.

"You're my mother. I love you. That's my job, to take care of you. But mom, you can't keep drinking. You'll get alcohol poisoning. Or get thrown in jail again, the next time for good." Serena spoke quietly.

"I know Serena. I know." 

"Good." They pulled up to the house. Ilene stepped out of the car, and Serena followed in suit. Leaning over to look through the window, she spoke to Trowa.

"Thank you so much Trowa. You're a wonderful boyfriend." They both smiled at the joke. "I'll send the guys out."

"Thanks Serena. Take care." 

"You too." She turned and walked into the house. She saw her mother already speaking to Quatre. 

"Hello Serena."

"Hi Quatre. Trowa is waiting for you guys in the car." She said bluntly.

"Thanks. We'd batter go then."

"Wait, I haven't paid you…"

"Sere! Give up with the whole payment thing already, would you?" Duo shouted out, bounding into the room. A more low-key Wufei trailed in behind him.

"Serena. We baby-sit for you for free. You should know that by now." Wufei added.

"I know, but…"

"No buts Serena. We have to get going, can't keep Trowa forever. Bye Sere!" Quatre said stepping out the door.

"Good night Serena." Wufei followed.

"Sere. If Hiiro bothers you…"

"I know. Call you. Thanks Duo. I think I… I don't know what to think. Well, maybe the answer will come to me eventually." 

"I hope so. All I want if for both you and Hiiro to be happy."

"He's a killer. A Gundam Pilot, the one that killed my father no less! He doesn't deserve to be happy!" She yelled.

"Serena! Stop this! Before you become too blinded by your hatred. Yes, he was a killer. So was I. Didn't you ever wonder _how_ we all knew Hiiro from the war? We were all Gundam pilots. Do you hate us all now?" Duo countered her.

"I got over that! I got over the fact that you were killers!" She cried.

"Then why can't you forgive Hiiro?"

"He killed my father!" 

"How? How do you know?"

"Duo, I don't want to…"

"Yeah, you're right. You're too scared to face the truth. Don't mind me. Be quiet, alright? Your siblings are asleep." He jerked around and strode out the door without looking back. 

"Serena? Who is Hiiro? And how is he responsible for your father's death?" Ilene asked. Serena turned around, shocked. She had forgotten her mother was right behind her.

"It's not worth the thought Mom." She brushed it off. She could feel her eyes glazing over. Self-loathing and pity became her main emotion, and she hated that she was so weak that she would cry over losing the man who was responsible for her horrible life.

"Serena, look at me." Ilene cooed softly. How could she have let her daughter slip this far away from her? Even with her hangover, Ilene could see that her daughter was hurting.

"Yes?" Serena said as she slowly tilted her head up to look her mother in her eyes. Her mother was a drunk, all because of Hiiro Yui. Cin. The man whom her mother had once hired to fix her problems was the cause of them all. What irony this living hell held.

"Serena, what is going on?" Ilene asked gently. 

"Nothing important Mom. Don't worry about it. Really. Why don't you go take a shower while I…"

"Serena. You never used to keep things from me. What's different?"

"Never used to? Mom, I never had anything to hide. And I still don't. Go take your shower. I'm going to bed." Serena sighed, slightly angrily. She threw her coat onto the couch and stomped lightly up the stairs, trying not to awaken her sleeping siblings. At least they should be able to get some sleep. Besides. She had work tomorrow.

Ilene watched her daughter go up the stairs. What was going on with her daughter? She had been gone from the house for so long that she had no idea of even how her other three children were. Guilt overtook her. While she had been out drinking and getting high, her seventeen-year-old daughter had been playing house. Only it wasn't playing. She had really been a homemaker. Ilene thought over her daughter. She hadn't finished high school. She didn't date, didn't party. She worked, made lunches, did the laundry, cleaned house, washed the dishes and paid the bills. God- she acted more like the daughter than her own daughter did. 

Ilene realized she had slowly stolen from her daughter what had been stolen from her the day she found out her husband had been killed- life. Serena had no life. Because she was too irresponsible. Well. This was going to end right here. She was going to pick up the pieces of her daughter's broken non-existent life and put them back together. Beginning tonight with this argument she had heard between Serena and Duo. Making up her mind, Ilene threw her coat onto of Serena's and stomped up the stairs. 

Before she knocked on Serena's door, she pressed her ear up against it. Serena was crying. But it wasn't just any crying, it was sobbing, true, heat-felt sobs that echoed dimly through the rest of the house. Ilene had never heard her daughter cry before. Not when she had found out her fathered had died, not even at the funeral. Not ever in the history of Ilene's memory could she remember Serena crying. God her daughter must be in so much pain. And all Ilene could do was listen to her. She was scared. To scared to help the broken heart of her daughter. What had she become? And how could she have let herself drag her own daughter down with her?*

~~~**Sorry **everyone. I'm resulting to** bribes**. I have the **next chapter** **written**. But if I don't get at least **15** reviews, **no one** **sees** it. In Bugs Bunny's terms, "**Ain't I a stinker**?"~~~


	11. Please Exonerate Me From Life

Chapter Eleven: Please Exonerate Me From Life

*Ilene had had enough of this. Whether she was scared or not, she was going to end this here and now. Knocking gently on the door, she waited for Serena to open it. The door opened and there stood Serena. Ilene took in the sight. Her eyes were rimmed with red, and dark black circles exacerbated the bags that hung below them. Dark tears streaks ran down her pale ghostly cheeks and the short black negligee seemed to swallow her whole into the blackness of the room.

"Oh Serena, oh my baby." Ilene's heart broke at the sight.

"Mommy." Serena sobbed. She couldn't handle it any longer. She was ready to snap. She needed someone to help her, make her forget her pain. Her mother was here, and even if she was a drunken clod, Serena trusted her. She launched herself into her mother's arms.

"Oh Serena. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry it's gone this far. It's alright baby. Everything is going to be alright." Ilene cooed.

"No! It will never be alright Mom. Never again…" Serena declared.

"Why not? Serena, what were you and Duo arguing about? Who is Hiiro?"

"Mom. What if I told you I had done something very stupid. But I couldn't help but do it anyway. But I feel horrible about it. What would you say?" Serena asked.

"I'd ask for more details. Serena, nothing is unforgivable. Nothing."

"What about killing? Don't you think that killing is unforgivable?"

"Have you killed someone?" Ilene asked, suddenly very concerned.

"Mom! No!"

"The why ask if it's forgivable?"  
"Because I know someone who has." Serena's tears had stopped, but her voice was quiet and introspective. 

"You do hmm?" And who might that be?"

"Trowa. And Duo. And Quatre and Wufei as well. All four of them were killers in the war. But I forgave them for that. I forgave them for being what they were."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Hiiro was a killer too."

"Ahh. Now I get to hear about this Hiiro. Tell me. Have I met him?" Serena hung her head in shame and tears began to slip again. How could she tell her mother who she had dated?

"Serena? Do I know him?" Ilene asked again.

"You've met. Mom, remember Cin?"

"Cin… oh…" Ilene had the decency to blush. "Serena, I didn't mean to bring him home, well, I did, but I mean, I was drunk and…"

"Hiiro is Cin. Or Cin is Hiiro." Ilene's eyes shot open.

"Come again?"

"Mom. When I had to go pay Cin back for your 'hour' with him, I got hit on in the bar by some pretty shady characters. Cin got me out in one piece, and even walked me home afterwards even though he didn't have to. And he asked me out. He had been so nice to me, so courteous, and I accepted… I don't know why, but I accepted."

"Serena! You dated a whore?"

"You were going to sleep with him!" Serena accused here mother. Ilene stepped back slightly shocked. But she also knew her daughter was smart enough to have known what she had been getting into when she accepted. 

"I'm sorry, you're right. I shouldn't judge you, or him, that easily."

"Don't feel bad. I did it too." Serena gave a short laugh through her teary eyes. 

"Is that all you're crying about? The fact that you dated a whore?"

"No! I'm not that shallow Mother!" Serena defended herself. "It's more. I didn't just date him. And it wasn't even dating, come to think of it. Two dates. Two."

"Where did you go?" Ilene asked her daughter curiously. She had never known her daughter to date, so she couldn't possibly think of where the two had gone.

"Well, the first date he took me out for coffee-"

"You hate coffee though." Ilene cut her daughter off. Serena looked at her mother in surprise. 

"How did you know that? I mean, you're right, I do hate it. But how did you know?"

"I'm your mother Serena. It's my job to know."

"It's also your job to keep house, stay with your son and daughters for more than one day at a time, and take care of us. But you don't do all of that." Serena replied quietly. Ilene physically looked hurt.

"Serena. I know I haven't been the best of mothers. And it doesn't just have to do with your father's death. I suppose that was the final straw, but it was never just that. After I had you I was so happy. But I was also very young. I wasn't able to handle the pressure of having a daughter so young. I was only sixteen. And your father was twenty-five. When you were four, we were having marital problem. He wanted to leave me. But I begged him to stay. We figured if we had more kids, we would love each other more. But I was having a hard enough time just taking care of you. I was flighty, always wanted to be partying. And your father, he was a drinker. Over the years we just… grew apart. It had nothing to do with you or your brother and sisters. But when I heard he was dead, I gave up. I didn't think I could raise you all on my own."

"So you left me to do it instead?" 

"Serena, I'm sorry. And I would like to start over. Tonight when I heard you crying, I realized how much pain I've caused this family. I'm truly very sorry. I love you so much, you and your brother and sisters. And I want to make it up to you at all costs."

"Oh Mom." Serena breathed. Serena hugged her mother, who by this time was shedding tears of her own. For a moment all of the world seemed to right itself. Everything was back into its place. Then Serena remembered Hiiro. Cin. 

"Now then." Ilene pulled away form her daughter smiling. "You were telling me about your first date?" Serena had to smile at that one. Her mother seemed like Duo at times. Childish, but with an honest care for all.

"We went for coffee, or in my case, hot chocolate. Actually, it was rather funny. I convinced him coffee tasted bad, and he traded drinks half way through for hot chocolate too. Then we walked home."

"What, no kiss?" Ilene chided her daughter. Serena blushed.

"No, not really. I pecked his cheek at the end, and he asked me out again."

"So then. Tell me about your second date."

"He took me to where he sleeps when he can't get a job. It's this nice orphanage. We passed out these toys he had bought to the kids. I even met the man who owned the orphanage. It seems he was the one who had adopted Hiiro when he was young."

"So he took you to meet his parents on the second date? That's moving rather quickly."

"What are you implying?" Serena asked skeptically.

"Nothing. Just that he liked you enough to take you home. And you didn't seem to mind…"

"Well, Hiiro's a really wonderful person, once you look around his job." Serena blushed. 

"Then what were you saying about him being a killer?" Ilene asked suddenly. For her daughter to be so unhappy that she was bawling her eyes out, there had to be some sort of catch.

"Right after I got the call that you were in jail, he came by. He just… blurted… out that he had been a Gundam pilot in the war. Not only that, but Mom, he was Gundam pilot zero one. The one that killed Dad." Serena spoke quietly and slowly. A silence fell upon the room. Serena heard her mother gulp loudly.

"What did you tell him Serena?" Ilene asked in a clipped, low tone.

"I told him he was lower than dirt. I told him to get lost and that he was never to come back. Mom, I really let him have it. I screamed at him. Oh God, I said he was a bastard… and I sent him packing." Serena wanted to cry. She really and truly wished she could. But there were no more tears left. She was beyond tears. Only the pain remained. And she had yet to figure out why the pain was there, why it felt so real, even though she had so much hatred for Hiiro Yui, the man who had killed her father. 

"You, you told him all of that? Oh Serena…"

"Well? Do you still think that killing is forgivable? Even in this case? Mom, he ruined our lives. If he hadn't killed dad that day in the invasion of that stupid little city on the border of the Cinq, you wouldn't have ever started drinking. And everything would be perfect."

"Oh Serena? Is that what you think? That everything is his fault? Serena, it was a war. Your father and I both knew what he was getting into when he enlisted. Serena, he knew the chances of coming a cross a Gundam pilot and living were non-existent, and he knew that even if he didn't run into one, he might not live. It wasn't just Hiiro's fault."

"But…"

"No. Listen. Now I can't say I wouldn't have done the same. I would have yelled and screamed at him too. But Serena, honestly. Maybe you took it too far? And it's obviously hurting you as well. You love him."

"Mother! How dare you suggest such a thing! I do not! And I never will. That's what Quatre was going to say this afternoon. But you're both wrong. I hate him."

"Serena. Two of us are wrong? Or is just you not wanting to admit to anything?" Serena sat in silence at this suggestion. She kept telling herself no, that that couldn't be true. Who could tell her the answers? 

"No." She told her mother quietly. 

"Believe what you will Serena. But you should at least apologize to Hiiro. If you don't, this will eat you up inside forever."

"You're right. I need to find him. Now." Serena stood and opened one of her dresser drawers. 

"Serena, I think you can wait for tomorrow before you go looking for him…"

"No. I need to do this now. He lives for the nightlife. It's his job, remember?" She stopped and looked at her mother, who was still sitting on her bed. "Thanks Mom." She gave her mother a hug.

"That's my job. Which I am going to resume right now."

"Good. That means you can start watching the others while I go and find Hiiro." Serena smiled slightly, then kissed her mother's cheek and ran out of her room.

"Wait! You're leaving in that? Young lady, get back here this instant!" Ilene called after her. Serena stopped and looked back at her mother in disbelief. She would have expected that from Wufei, sure. But from her _mother_?

"What?"

"Nothing. I just always wanted to say that. Good luck!" Ilene smiled. 

"Bye!" Serena called. And she was gone.

)(

Hiiro sat up in the bed. He was covered in sweat, and incredibly tense. Something was wrong. Something was telling him this wasn't right.

"Cin baby." The woman beneath him moaned, out of breath and seductively. 

"Sorry." Hiiro stood and began pulling his shirt on. 

"Cin? Where are you going? Come on, stay. Did I do something wrong? Hell, that shouldn't matter; I'm paying for you!" The woman whined.

"Sorry Vivian. You're just not my type." He said.

"What? You're a slut! You don't have a _type_, only a job to do. So get your ass back in this bed and finish what you started!"

"That's be three hundred dollars."

"You were only here for an hour and a half!"

"Which is why it's not four hundred. The money." Hiiro was losing his patience.

"No! I want my sex first!" Enough was enough. Hiiro did something he hadn't done in years. He pulled his gun on the naked woman.

"The money." She nodded and deftly grabbed her purse from the floor. Stuffing the cash into his hands, she backed away.

"Thanks." He put his gun away and ran out of the room. The whole time he was beating himself up. What the hell had he been thinking? Leaving early! He never did that. He could have used the cash too. And pulling a gun on the woman! Maybe he _was _less than human. He was a bastard. Serena had been right. He was nothing more than a murderer. Who didn't deserve to be wasting the little oxygen. This was impossible. He had taken this job so that he wouldn't destroy others. He had taken this job so he could help others forget their problems. But now he couldn't forget his, no matter how hard he tried. 

He couldn't forget all she had said to him, all it had meant, and all it had hurt. Serena had been the only girl he had ever felt _any_ way about, and now she was gone. Now she hated him. She had betrayed him, and he knew he deserved it. After all of the horrible things he had done during the war, he knew this was his punishment- having the girl he liked hating him. It figured. He was a soldier. Not just any soldier, The Perfect Soldier. And he would never stop being him. Damn it all to hell. What could he do now?

)(

"Guys! Open up! Hey guys! It's me! Come on!" She pounded on the door.

"Serena?" Quatre asked as he opened the door a crack. He opened it fully when he recognized her, and quickly ushered her in.

"Serena! What are you doing up this late?" Trowa asked, yawning. All of the others were standing behind Quatre.

"Serena! What are you wearing?" Wufei scolded her.

"Sere, who's with the kids?" Duo asked worriedly.

"My mother." She watched as each of their faces gave an incredulous look. "They'll be fine. After you all left, my mother and I had a little chat. We worked out a lot of problems."

"That's wonderful Sere. But, uh, why are you here?" Duo asked what everyone wanted to know.

"I'm here for two reasons. One, I have to apologize to you Duo. I really gave you a hard time earlier. You were right."

"Of course I was!" He chirped cheerfully. He did a double take and looked at her again. "What was I right about?"

"Braided idiot." Wufei muttered in the background.

"Duo, you said that I was scared. I am. Or was. But not anymore. You also said that both Hiiro and I deserve happiness. And you were right. He does. And I've done nothing to help." She lowered her head in self-disappointment. 

"Serena, don't worry. I'm sure Hiiro knows that." Quatre interjected.

"Sere, we've known Hiiro for a long time, even if we haven't been with him for all of that time. He hasn't changed. He prides himself on doing to the right thing, and completing missions. I've seen what happens when he does things wrong. He punishes himself, physically, and psychologically. He thinks of himself as worthless. We all were so accepting of his new… 'occupation' because we knew he was punishing himself for being what he was in the war." Trowa told her.

"He once told me something along the same lines. He said he could have gotten a nice job in some office building. But he didn't think it would be right. He said that so many others had been in the war too, and he couldn't bring himself to rob them from their only way to make a living and supporting their families, so he rejected the jobs." She told them all grimly. 

"That sounds like something Hiiro would do all right! He's deep into the whole self-loathing scene. I tried to break him out of it when we were in the war, but he just won't bend." Duo half joked and was half serious.

"Well. We can all just sit here talking about him the whole night, but I need to do more. I need to find him, talk to him. I need to, at the very least, explain why I was so hard on him. He didn't deserve it."

"We have no idea where he is. We were going to track him, but we decided against it. Decided Yui would show up on his own when he wanted to." Wufei told her. 

"You're sure? I figured you would know, since you were all so close…"

"We were close. But since he left, our team has been split apart. Without him, we aren't as close as we would like to be." Quatre sighed.

"But you seem so close…"

"We are. But we aren't complete without him."

"Makes sense."

"Serena, listen to me." Trowa spoke suddenly in a very vigorous tone. "You need to find Hiiro. You need to find him and tell him more than you're sorry. You need to tell him he's worthy of living. If you don't, who knows what state of mind he'll be in. We would help, but he won't listen to us. He needs someone who will affect him- he needs you. Convince him to continue living. Convince him you care, convince him that you love him."

"But I…"

"Serena. Don't deny it. You wouldn't care that you had hurt him as much if you didn't." Quatre cut her off before she could deny the accusation. She hung her head in defeat. She knew it wasn't true, but what was the harm in letting the others think it was?

"Alright then. I'll find him. Thank you all so much for your help. I'll see you tomorrow I suppose."

"Bye Sere, and good luck!" She walked quickly out of the apartment complex and back onto the streets. So Hiiro hated to fail missions huh? Well this was her mission: to find him. And she hated to fail just as much as he, probably more. She would prevail.*


	12. We Could Be Heros for Ever and Ever

Chapter Twelve: We Could Be Heroes Forever and Ever

*He ran. And ran. And continued running. The broken ground gave him no problem. The cold air barely affected him. The snowy wind hardly touched him. Where was he running? Why was he going there? He had no idea. Yes, he did have an idea.

While he had been walking away from Vivian he had had the epiphany. He wanted to share it with somebody, anybody. But not just anybody would do. Hiiro needed to find a certain person to explain this to. But he still had no idea where he was going.

But he would know when he got there. In fact, he was there now. Stopping in front of the stereotypical white picket fenced home, he sighed. This was it. He needed to get this off of his chest. He knocked. Footsteps. Door unlocking. Door opening. 

"Yes? Can I help you?" An unfamiliar voice spoke. 

"Serena." He spoke. One word, so much meaning.

"Cin?" He looked up and brought his eyes to focus on the figure. Serena's mother. And she wasn't drunk. This was a new development.

"Yes."

"Hello Hiiro. Serena went out. Looking for you actually." Ilene smiled. When two people went looking for each other, but couldn't find each other, it was symbolic. Both her daughter and Hiiro had been searching for each other their whole lives. And now they had finally realized it, but they still couldn't find each other. Who needed soap operas when things like this happened in real life everyday?

"Looking for me?" He repeated. Why would she do that?

"Yes. Hiiro, I forgive you. I just wanted you to know."

"Forgive me." He repeated. Then he snapped out of it. "For what?"

"You killed my husband, and Serena's father. You see, my husband had been part of OZ, and he had been stationed at a small village on the boarder of the Cinq. You at the time were part of the Treize Faction. I'm sure you don't remember. Doesn't matter though."

"When I infiltrated the city there were still civilians in it. We evacuated them, and then sent our wounded to the Cinq."

"You do remember."

"Your husband was one of those men?"

"Yes. But don't worry over it. Serena, well, she can tell you on her own. She's looking for you. Try to find her, would you? I'm getting worried. She's on the wrong side of town in the middle of the night. I'm sure you have a good idea of what happens over there around this time?"

"Understood." He nodded in full comprehension.

"And Cin?" Ilene called after him. "Thanks for refusing me that night after you found out about my family." She smiled. He simply nodded, then turned and fled down the street. 

He had to find her. He had to tell her. Her mother had merely slowed him down- though it had been worth the delay. He at least understood her position slightly better now. If someone had killed his father, and he had known his father, he would have been upset. Still, she hadn't given him a fair chance. And he was going to fix that. Desperation was waning. 

)(

She ran. Into the dark allies. Through the bars. She poked her head in every club still open. And still, no sign of Hiiro. Was he on a job? Was he in the middle of such passion that he had forgotten her? Half of her hoped he was. That way his pain would be numb for a short amount of time. The other half was incredibly jealous. He was hers. And she was going to make sure the world knew it. As soon as she found him.

"Hey babe! Looking good!" A group of men came out from behind a dumpster.

"Thanks. Excuse me." She brushed them off.

"No, you're not excused. We're looking for a one-night stand. You're obviously a slut, so come on tramp. Let's do the horizontal mambo, or whatever that saying is."

"I'm not a slut, and I'm not interested. Now please move before I lose my temper and hurt you."

"Well, well, well. Look who it is. Pretty little Serena from the bar. You should have just given in when I asked. It would have been so much easier on everyone."

"Jerry!" She gasped in surprise. From her run in with him before, she knew he could be quite persuasive and even more so dangerous. 

"Got that right baby cakes. Come on honey, let's lose this scene." He stepped up to her. She backed up. He had her against a wall. The group of men closed in around them.

"Leave me alone Jerry!"

"No, I don't think so." He lifted an arm and tugged at her worn jacket. The buttons easily unbuttoned and he pulled it off. "You see my dear." He ran one of his cool fingers down her pale, thin arm and back up her neck. Tracing her jaw line, he stopped at her chin and forced her head up. 

"Let go of me. Now!" She struggled to get free. But two guys with ropes had already made their way in closer towards her. Tying her hands together behind her back, they made the move to tie her feet together as well.

"No. Leave her feet untied. She can't run anyway. We might as well have our fun with her." Jerry smirked.

"No!" She continued to make it hard for the men.

"It won't hurt… for long. Don't worry about it. And after we're done, we'll let you go crying back to Cin. He's too thick headed to try anything. And even if he wanted to, he wouldn't be able to find us." And the darkness consumed her. Though she screamed, no one came. They gagged her mouth. Though she struggled, they never stopped. And though she cried, they laughed harder. 

"That's enough. Let's leave the bitch here. We've got no more use for her. Besides. For all her good looks, she wasn't that great to rape. Rather boring if you ask me." Jerry and his friends laughed. 

"I'm sorry you feel that way. Because it's the last 'rape' you'll ever commit." 

"What? Who said that?" Jerry whirled around, accusing his friends.

"I did." A figure stepped out of the shadows, a gun cocked, and a frown placed upon his darkened face. 

"Cin." Four shots were heard. Four men began running down the street, screaming. 

"Jerry. You're my next target. I'm giving you till the count of ten to run. Then I shoot. One. Two." Hiiro began counting.

"Cin!" Jerry pleaded. When he saw Hiiro was serious, he turned and ran, not looking back.

" Six. Seven. Ten." Hiiro shot into the dark ally. A blood-curdling scream resounded in his ears and echoed throughout the black and empty streets. Once Hiiro was sure the gang members had been taken care, he turned around and rushed over to Serena. Ungagging and untying her, he helped her sit up as she choked and sputtered sobs. 

Hiiro could not believe this was the same girl that he had gotten to know in the last few weeks. Her clothes were torn and ripped. Her face was black and blue; her mascara had dripped down below her eyes in black streaks. Lipstick smeared, disheveled hair. Blood matted in a few places, and she was sobbing. All he could think was that she didn't deserve this. Even if she hated him with complete and utter contempt, he knew she didn't deserve this. Picking her up, he raced up the street. 

"Hiiro? What brings you… oh. Oh, I see. Come on in my boy." Doctor J allowed his former student in and shut the door behind them. "You can put her in your room, and I trust you know where the first aid kit is?"

"Yes."

"Good. Good night then." With that, the old man left. Hiiro shook his head at the old man's _helpful_ behavior, then focused on his task. Laying the crying Serena out on his bed, he grabbed the first aid kit from underneath it and began to tend to her wounds. Soon her weeping subsided, and she silently sniffled as he moved deftly about his work.

"Hiiro?" She finally got the courage to speak his name. 

"Serena. Don't speak. Sleep." He encouraged her. She was calling him Hiiro again. Not Cin like she had when she had been angry. What did that mean? Did it mean anything?

"No. Hiiro, I-"

"Please sleep." Se stopped after he begged her again. All she could do was let him work. He looked so intent on helping her. Why? Wasn't he mad? She felt so horrible. She needed to tell him. But sleep was winning her over and soon, she couldn't fight it any longer.

Hiiro felt her tense muscles relax and her breathing even out and knew she was asleep. She trusted him enough to sleep near him. Or had she simply bee so tired she couldn't stay awake to supervise him any longer? He hoped it had been the first, but his mind told him logically it had to be the latter of the answers. He finished cleaning her wounds and pulled up a chair. Sitting and relaxing as much as he possibly could, he too fell into a dreamless sleep.

Sometime in the late morning Serena awoke. The sun was streaming through the windows, right onto her face. She sat up quickly, slightly panicked that she didn't recognize her surroundings. She then spied Hiiro asleep in the chair and knew she was safe. Memories from the night before came flooding back. Her mother… Trowa's request… Jerry and his friends… being raped… Hiiro saving her… Hiiro tending to her wounds. Though she was stiff, she sat up straight and studied Hiiro. He must have fallen asleep after finishing bandaging her up. He looked at peace, content, in his sleep. His hard face was relaxed. The worry lines in his forehead were gone. His eyes were soft, not glaring and harsh. 

She couldn't believe he had ever been in a war, looking at him in this form. But just the night before she had seen him shoot five men. Given, he hadn't killed any of them, it still must have hurt to get shot. And he had done it for her. But wasn't she against killers? Her whole outlook on things was shifting. She couldn't be happier that Hiiro had shot those guys. It had served them right. But he had killed her father. True, he hadn't known it was her father, and he hadn't had much of a choice, but… she felt horrible. Leaning forward, she lightly brushed back a few of his bangs that had fallen into his eyes. A heavy hand clasped around her wrist and held on tightly. She gasped in surprise.

"What were you doing?" He asked her coldly.

"I… I don't know." She answered. He looked hard at her, then let her hand go.

"Hiiro, I…"

"Look. Whatever you have to say, I don't want to hear it. It doesn't matter." He sneered. He had had more time to think. After he had fallen asleep, he had continuously woken again and again thinking of Serena. What had he been so panicked to tell her the night before? He couldn't remember any longer.

"Now wait just a minute. I've been looking for you…"

"And getting raped in the process?" He snorted. Her eyes glazed over in pain. Hiiro's heart tugged as he saw them. He had caused her more pain. Damn himself. "Serena. I'm sorry. That was uncalled for." He forced himself to say.

"It's true. Why deny it?" She hung head low. "I'm sorry for being such a bother."

"I thought you hated me? Never wanted me in your sight again? So why are you still here?" He asked, closing his eyes and crossing his arms in front of her.

"I'm here because I was looking for you. I had to tell you something."

"It's not important."

"No. You're wrong! It is important! It was worth getting raped for!" His head shot up. What could possibly be worth losing your innocence for?

"I'm listening." 

"I was looking for you last night to apologize to you. I treated you horribly, and my behavior was inexcusable. Not to mention I was wrong. You weren't the cause of my problems. That was a pitiful excuse that I used."

"Don't waste your time apologizing. It was understandable, and I'm not worth the trouble. I'm sorry I killed your father."

"You are worth the trouble, and don't be sorry. You couldn't avoid it. It was war. It's taken me a long time to realize that. My mother finally opened my eyes to reality last night. God I owe you so much. And still I treated you as no one deserves to be treated. Worse. I treated someone I care very deeply for that way." 

"Yeah, well. Don't bother apologizing. I'm not worth the time it takes." He replied sarcastically. She stood and knelt before him at his feet.

"How dare you say that! You are worth the time! Otherwise I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be trying to confess my love for you. If you aren't worth the time, I don't know who is."

"I'm not worth the time. I'm a murderer. My hands are so bloody, so stained that no one could ever think I'm worth the effort."

"Your friends did. Otherwise they wouldn't have spent three years searching for you. Hiiro, they need you to make their team whole. I need you. I was a pig-headed, stubborn fool. I'm sorry." 

"What about last night? You're not upset I used my gun on those innocent civilians?"

"They were anything but innocent. I'm actually glad you did. Otherwise justice never would have been served. Thank you. You've saved my life Hiiro."

"One life for the hundreds I destroyed. Doesn't seem fair." 

"No. Hiiro, you need to stop thinking about it that way. You saved Earth by destroying that one piece of Libra. That's millions of lives you saved. Stop being so hard on yourself."

"Did you say you were trying to confess your love for me?" He asked randomly. Serena blushed. She had said that earlier. But she hadn't meant to say it. It had just come out so naturally…

"Yeah, I suppose I did."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would you confess you love for me if you hate me?"

"Because I don't hate you. I hate the fact that I… the fact that I love you. There, I've said it. I _love_ you." She blushed and rubbed her temples with frustration.

"You love me. You love me." He repeated it over and over, just to get a handle on what was being said. This was amazing. It was impossible.

"Serena. Last night I was with a woman. And I stopped in the middle of my job and left her." She blushed heavily at his suggestion. So she had been right. He had been with another woman. Jealousy surged through her veins. But he had left her…

"Why?" Was the only question she could think of.

"Because I had an 'enlightening' idea that I wanted to run by you. I wanted to tell you I, I love you. I don't know how, or why I thought that. I've never loved. Before you there was no such thing as love. It was only an emotion I had heard myths and storied about. I had made up an image in my mind that love was a cross between lust and jealousy. 

But I was wrong, I think. I love every little thing about you. Your voice, how its soothing at the end of a long day. Your mind, how quick and sharp-witted you are. I love your heart. Even after you had betrayed me, I could still picture you giving out those presents to the kids. I love your strength to keep going, even when the going gets rough. I love the way you don't flaunt your incredible beauty. I just love you. Now that isn't just lust and jealousy. I don't know what it is, but it's anything but that."

"Hiiro." She breathed. "Nothing is unforgivable."

"Hnn."

"Please stop hurting yourself. You've paid your dues! Please!" She begged him. He watched her eyes glaze over.

"How can you be so passionate over a lost cause?"

"Because there are no lost causes. Life is only what you make of it. You did what you had to do because you though it was right. You stayed alive. That in itself is a human emotion and instinct, the will to survive. Stop acting like it was inhuman!"

"It was. I slaughtered."

"To live."

"To live. And I did it again last night out of rage." He dropped his head.

"Enough!" Serena stated loudly. She brought her hands up to cup his cheeks and briskly placed her mouth over his. He sat, unmoving for a moment. Then he responded. Returning the pressure she had placed over his mouth, he pushed back. For a moment they teased each other. Then he wanted something more. 

Bringing his hand up, he pushed the back of her head in closer to him. Moaning, they both lost themselves in desire. Their bodies pressed against each other, and their tongues preformed an erotic dance as they poured passion into each other. 

Serena was in bliss. Contentment she had never known before over took her brain and she drowned in her pleasure. He was so gentle, yet so demanding. He had so much passion, such a capability to love so deeply. And she was only grazing the surface of his true personality. She craved more.

Hiiro had lost any logical or rational thought. His mind told him Serena was good. Serena was warm, Serena cared. She was so innocent and sweet. He could hardly believe she trusted him after all that had happened the night before. He felt blessed she would give herself to him so completely, so wholly, and still have more to give. His self-loathing and loneliness dissipated. Only happiness and fullness filled his once tormented soul. When they finally broke apart from lack of air, they rested their foreheads against each other.

"I love you Hiiro Yui. You are not Cin. You are not a soldier or a killer. You are the man I love. Please don't hate yourself for that."

"I love you." He barely whispered. He couldn't help it. Tears spilled and he cried openly for the first time he could remember. Serena enveloped him in a warm embrace. Together they stayed for minutes, hours on end, holding each other, comforting each other, being each other's strength.*


	13. Becasue We Can

~~~Sorry I took this fic off everyone! Ch 11 was messed up, then I messed the chapters up… anyway… I want you all to know I saved your reviews- they were not in vain! Thank you sooooo much! 

Epilogue: Because We Can

*"I still can't believe you two got together. It's such an unlikely pairing!" Duo's loud mouth was blasting everyone's ears once again.

"Duo." Hiiro warned.

"No, I can see Maxwell's point. Serena doesn't seem like the type to date a whore." Wufei snorted in laughter.

"When she first told me she had dated him, I nearly had a heart attack!" Ilene joined the laughter. 

"Mommy? What's a whore?" A little voice called over the noise.

"Kara! You shouldn't have heard that!" Serena gasped through her laughter. The only one of them who wasn't laughing was Hiiro. He was sitting quietly, taking it all in with a simple smile playing across his lips. He had a real, loving and caring family now. 

He, Serena, Ilene, Duo, Quatre, Wufei, Trowa, and Serena's little brother and sisters were all seated around the Tsukino dinner table. It had been three months since the fateful night he and Serena had… made up. Since then he had spent a lot of time with her. They went out nearly every night. And when they weren't together, he was with the guys, rebuilding their friendship. Ilene had been very welcoming, once she had gotten over the embarrassment of seeing 'Cin' kissing her daughter. Life was wonderful.

This was the first time they had all actually gotten together, and it had been quite a night. It had begun a little on the formal side, but after they had sat down for dinner, the insults, stories, and comments being exchanged relaxed the entire atmosphere in the house. 

"We are not an unlikely pair." Hiiro finally spoke. The entire room broke into laughter. Those who had already been laughing only laughed harder. Duo fell out of his chair.

"Ow!" But he continued laughing. Life was good. This was how life should be. Hiiro placed his hand over Serena's, and she got the impression he wanted to speak with her alone.

"Well. As interesting as this had been, I'm going to clear the plates for dessert. Hiiro, help me?" She said, standing with a smile.

"Of course." As they walked into the kitchen, they heard Duo make a smart remark about them wanting to be alone for… reasons… Trowa smacked him on the head for it. Both Serena and Hiiro looked at each other and grinned. These people were their closest friends?

"You do realize our friends are insane?" She asked him.

"The thought has crossed my mind occasionally." He smirked. 

"So?"

"So what?"

"I got the feeling you wanted to speak to me alone?"

"Hnn."

"Fine then. I'm going back out there then." She made her way towards the door. He grasped her hand and stopped her. She simply stared at where he was holding her hand.

"I didn't say you could leave." He stated.

"I didn't know I needed permission." She smirked.

"You're picking up too many of my habits. Don't smirk like that again." He warned her with his voice at a dangerously low level.

"Oh? And what are you going to do about it?" She mocked.

"Hnn." He whirled her around and pulled her in close. Looking her up and down, he carefully held her in a hug. He felt as if she might break if he squeezed her too hard. But he needed to hold her, or else she might fade away. He need the reassurance she was real.

Serena lay her head on Hiiro's chest and allowed him to hold her. She felt safe in his warm arms. Safe and content. She knew he would always take care of her, and she loved him so very much for it.

"Serena! Hiiro! The desserts! Or are you going to make-out in there all night?" Quatre called. Laughing could be heard on the other side of the door. Quatre making such a comment happened once in a blue moon. That made it twice as funny.

"We had better go." She stated softly. 

"Yeah. I guess so." As they picked up the desserts, Hiiro blocked the doorway. Leaning over, he pecked Serena on the lips.

"What was that for?" She asked in surprise.

"I love you." He stated softly. She could see the love radiating form his eyes.

"I love you too." And all the world had been set right.*

The End.

~~~Well now! C'est fini! As always, I ask that you rate my fic on a scale from 1-10; 1-bad, 10- good. I really hope you all enjoyed my fic- I wrote it for you! Much Love, Vixen~~~

~~~**IMPORTANT** **SIDE NOTE: I am looking for a fic. AND IT IS NOT BROKEN WING. ** I've read that one, and it isn't it. It's good though. Anyway…I read it a while back, but maybe someone can help me. It's an SM/ GW crossover. Serena was sent forward in time to help the boys gain their humanity. Broad topic, I know. If it helps, I remember she was shot by Hiiro in the first ch or so, and that they were 'camping' in the woods. She had just had a heart to heart with… Trowa and Quatre I think. **If you know the author or title, or if you ARE the author, please review or email me.** I LOVED your fic, and want to read more!~~~~


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